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The I shit my pants thread.

75cruisin said:
Made it to Dallas. Y’all can keep Texas. 80* and 76% humidity!?!? :mad3:

I’d rather shit my pants once a day in California :lmao:
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Porta pottie yesterday on 4th Street and Chanault in funky town was especially rough.

I'm not acclimated yet to the humidity, I bitch and moan, I just can't help it.

No pants where ruined, I got lucky, their was a construction crew on 4th with two cans in the front yard while I was in the middle of Sanford and Son set in the back of this dudes house.
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My kidney doctor put me a new med a few weeks back.....
It only lasted a week.
Once I started taking it, did not have a solid stool. Anal leakage. Could not drive to work with out having to dash to a toilet, or pulling over on the side of the road.
Had to keep wet wipes in the truck.
 
jeeptj19992001 said:
My kidney doctor put me a new med a few weeks back.....
It only lasted a week.
Once I started taking it, did not have a solid stool. Anal leakage. Could not drive to work with out having to dash to a toilet, or pulling over on the side of the road.
Had to keep wet wipes in the truck.
Click to expand...
Fuck dude that absolutely sucks.
 
I'm on a roll tonight.
Last year I went to local brewery to have lunch. I live about 25 miles up a mtn road. While there i ate a chimnie chunga and 3 bloody marries.

Feeling good i started the drive home and I entered the canyon road on my home when.. my stomach started turning...

Knowing there was an out house at a parking lot for hikers about half way home I told myself " you can make it" and kept going .

Mind you this is like January and everything is covered in snow and ice.. it became apparent there was no way I was going to make it to the out house.

I kept saying, "You can make it" squeezing my cheeks when all all sudden a bit of shit slipped by and I went to code red. Pull over here, pull over here, you have to pull over now!

Well that spot I picked just happened to be on a hill where the only spot was to get off the road was about 45*, and in my tennis shoes I took one step to traverce the hill when I imeaditally lost footing and hit every rock and tree on the way down.

On the desent I fully shit my pants and came to a stop about 30 feet down . Now I'm fully fucked.. I'm down a steep mtn hill and all kinds of fucked up. I remove my pants and use them to clean the shit on my ass and upper legs.. fuck!

Try to collect myself, my lower half is covered in shit and my body hurts. Pull off pants, put shoes back on and try to clime back to my truck.

I got about 10 feet up when with sneakers gave way again and I slid another 20 feet down. Now I'm brused and bloody, my entire theye and right arm are fucked.

Fuck, now I'm injured, naked front the waist down and ther is no way I can get back up this hill.
I had to remove shoes and socks in order to get footing. I ended up climbing the hill in the snow naked from the waiste down, no shoes. I used a towel to clean myself up and get back home.

I then had to explain e what I was all brused and bloody to my wife and parrent, good time and laughs by all. :-(

Fuck me. As I'm getting older I'm guickly realizing
I need to be more cautious.

Oh, amd by the way, once spring hit I went back to collect my pants and shoes. I like them..
 
ROCKTACO said:
I'm on a roll tonight.
Last year I went to local brewery to have lunch. I live about 25 miles up a mtn road. While there i ate a chimnie chunga and 3 bloody marries.

Feeling good i started the drive home and I entered the canyon road on my home when.. my stomach started turning...

Knowing there was an out house at a parking lot for hikers about half way home I told myself " you can make it" and kept going .

Mind you this is like January and everything is covered in snow and ice.. it became apparent there was no way I was going to make it to the out house.

I kept saying, "You can make it" squeezing my cheeks when all all sudden a bit of shit slipped by and I went to code red. Pull over here, pull over here, you have to pull over now!

Well that spot I picked just happened to be on a hill where the only spot was to get off the road was about 45*, and in my tennis shoes I took one step to traverce the hill when I imeaditally lost footing and hit every rock and tree on the way down.

On the desent I fully shit my pants and came to a stop about 30 feet down . Now I'm fully fucked.. I'm down a steep mtn hill and all kinds of fucked up. I remove my pants and use them to clean the shit on my ass and upper legs.. fuck!

Try to collect myself, my lower half is covered in shit and my body hurts. Pull off pants, put shoes back on and try to clime back to my truck.

I got about 10 feet up when with sneakers gave way again and I slid another 20 feet down. Now I'm brused and bloody, my entire theye and right arm are fucked.

Fuck, now I'm injured, naked front the waist down and ther is no way I can get back up this hill.
I had to remove shoes and socks in order to get footing. I ended up climbing the hill in the snow naked from the waiste down, no shoes. I used a towel to clean myself up and get back home.

I then had to explain e what I was all brused and bloody to my wife and parrent, good time and laughs by all. :-(

Fuck me. As I'm getting older I'm guickly realizing
I need to be more cautious.

Oh, amd by the way, ocean spring hit I went back to collect my pants and shoes. I like them..
Click to expand...
:lmao::lmao::lmao:
 
jeeptj19992001 said:
My kidney doctor put me a new med a few weeks back.....
It only lasted a week.
Once I started taking it, did not have a solid stool. Anal leakage. Could not drive to work with out having to dash to a toilet, or pulling over on the side of the road.
Had to keep wet wipes in the truck.
Click to expand...
Sorry man
 
CarterKraft said:
Having a in depth meeting with the boss this morning, it's just a fart.
:idea:

+1 CarterKraft:shaking:
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Had a boss when i.was in the .mil that would call for someone to report to his office. Usually when CMSgt is calling for you like that, it's not good.

He'd have them close the door and be all serious, acting like it's an ass chewing. Course draw this out a bit so they're sweating. Trying to figure out what the got caught doing.

Then rip an old man fart with a dead on 40yard straight face stare.

He'd do it every few months just to fuck with someone. Enough that the commander hear about it and wasn't sure to laugh or do a WTF. But chief had been in since the Wright Brothers built a plane, so commander ain't pissing off the chief.

Was all fun and games until he shit his pants trying to fart on command.
🤣🤣
Like called his wife for clothes shit, not a little skidmark eww that's gross shit.
 
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rattlewagon said:
Who was it...

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They close the pool for that now?
Maybe it was just my local pool, but back when I was a lifeguard, we'd clear the pool, the manager would go check the chlorine and pH (usually in middle area of the pool, when the poo was in the little kids area), send a few lifeguards in to scoop up any solids, and then re-open. That was all done in about 30 minutes... :lmao:
 
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