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Post yer sex toys, 35% ofc

Thatg9659 said:
I get that, I had my relations fun, I welcome being alone and when the mood strikes there's always hookers and blow.
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Ain't been fucked in 10 years, and at 27 that's really a fuckin' shame
casual sex is aids, too many people consider pills to be adequate protection
 
Provience said:
:laughing:
didn't notice the gun in the box when i first opened the thread. I'm surprised it doesn't make the news more often about people shooting each other during sex. i understand the whole making sure it's unloaded, just seems like more drunken fucks would end up not checking it every time :rasta:
I'm also surprised people think you are trolling :confused:
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just tossed that in there for scale
usually people laugh when they realize a couple of them are arm sized

the "thinking you're joking" is absolutely par for the course because for whatever reason if you're halfway fuckin' competent in a technical field you've gotta be a **** destroyer in bed. Kinda like how there's just about no women in technical fields that aren't just riding the wave of their sex as their sole defining characteristic.
"sorta kinda virtue signalling with overzealous acceptance" is the other common response
husslr187 said:
normally I would go back and read stuff to try and see from your perspective but not with this thread. I just skimmed it quickly after I realized there wasn’t 35% of people’s girlfriends and I don’t plan to go back.
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blame puritanical overzealous moderation
I'm of the opinion that nothing on the internet is SFW
ev13wt said:
None. We have none and are always both done in about 3-5 minutes max. Sometimes twice. 21 years of being together. Still great very time.
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well you aren't a real german
we all know that the plastic sheets would be on the bed once a week if you were
 
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I have to say that is a very impressive pile of plastic pooper pokers. (ok probably rubber but that spoils the alliteration)
 
TheFlyingDildocupine said:
I have to say that is a very impressive pile of plastic pooper pokers. (ok probably rubber but that spoils the alliteration)
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over a thousand bucks worth of silicock
actually the resale value kinda spiked lately because baddragon stopped taking orders a few months ago, so I could pretty easily sell them off for more than I paid
 
2big bronco said:
I've been with my wife for the same amount of time... just saying maybe you should try it sometime, you scared?
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It took 12 years and copious amounts of alcohol for my wife to let me go down on her orally. She thoroughly enjoyed it...but must be drunk to do it.
 
ev13wt said:
Ha! :flipoff2:

I think any woman will start staring at the ceiling after 20 minutes tops and be like.. get it done already. Of course, there will be exceptions that like marathon sex with position changes, but that is in the 1% - Studies show...

Only in porn women like that stuff.

They also hate jackhammer sex, and sex were you pull it almost out all the way with each thrust. They love pressure on the clit, which is why they love sitting on top so much.

Do the surfer next time: stick it in there, almost all the way. Then, you thrust like an ocean dumps waves on the beach, but pull it out only a 1/4 to 1/2 inch tops. You count the thrusts, 7 times almost all the way, leaving that last 1/4th inch out - 3 times as deep as you can go. Remember never to pull it out, only as far as to relax some pressure on her clit. (This is missionary style)
Start with 1 Hz, and move up to 3 Hz tops (thrusts per second)

My boyfriend loves this simple trick, but so does my wife.
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you must suck at the sex if your wife would be staring at the ceiling in 20 minutes.

my wife and I average 40-60.
with the occasional hours long stint.

if she didn't have at least 4-5 orgasms in that time, then I have failed.
 
Only toy "I" have is my 0ga PA, and that's really more for the wife than myself.

Wife has plenty that we pull out to use on her fairly often.
 
[486 said:
;n192456]
I thought I was pretty open about taking it in the ass on here and on pirate
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Just busting yer balls, not kinkshaming.
 
87manche said:
you must suck at the sex if your wife would be staring at the ceiling in 20 minutes.

my wife and I average 40-60.
with the occasional hours long stint.

if she didn't have at least 4-5 orgasms in that time, then I have failed.
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How long are you two together?
Also, see my disclaimer. "Most" women obviously ain't your woman.

Yea, when the wife and I got together we fucked for nights, getting high, and she came 12 times... But after 21 years it's well seated rings and such :p

Show your wife this thread :p
 
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[486 said:
;n192906]

well you aren't a real german
we all know that the plastic sheets would be on the bed once a week if you were
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Says the guy that hasn't fucked in 10 years. Hmmmkay :flipoff2:
 
ev13wt said:
How long are you two together?
Also, see my disclaimer. "Most" women obviously ain't your woman.

Yea, when the wife and I got together we fucked for nights, getting high, and she came 12 times... But after 21 years it's well seated rings and such :p

Show your wife this thread :p
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23 years.

familiarity is no excuse not to try new things.
 
2big bronco said:
If you arnt tounge punching her fart box someone else is.
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Fact.

The girlfriend isn't into it but thus far but she had
a pretty good buzz on the other night and asked if I'd ever had my ass eaten. No, but I'm intrigued... :laughing:

I figured out quickly that I have to break this one in slow. If I dumped out all my skills and whatnot at once I think she'd get scared. I'm 99% sure she's had a super vanilla sex life. I put a pillow under her ass for a better angle and she acted like I'd just cured cancer. Darling that's sex 101, of that blows you away you're in for a real treat in the future... :evil:
​​​​​​
 
:lmao:

photo31762.jpg
 
I'm sitting here going ok, I'm pretty kinky, have a dirty ass mind, wife constantly shaking her head when 90% of the stupid shit I say relates to sex. Then I click on this thread and think my wife is full of shit. She don't know how twisted people can get :laughing:
 
That reminds me of when I was really into skydiving. I LOVED it, the people, the feeling, all of it. Spent every weekend at the DZ. After a while some folks thought just skydiving was boring. They starting piloting smaller and smaller canopies until almost all deaths were under a good chute, that was going 60mph on landing. After a while even that got boring, cue base jumping or wing suits, then both at the same time... I don't know if it's addiction thing or a metabolic thing where they just desensitized their receptors and had to keep upping the ante to feel anything. For me just plane ;) ol skydiving was always amazing. Maybe I'm just plain vanilla, but I'm happy.


This is about as crazy as it gets, the wife highly recommends. Excellent Christmas eve stocking stuffer...?
(version of this, don't recall exact model)
https://www.amazon.com/Cordless-Wan...ager&qid=1605202059&sr=8-7&tag=91812054244-20
 
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