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Divorce...when is it time, when do you know. Facing the unknown.

Lawless said:
That really resounds with me. A couple of months after we split the sheets all of my friends, family coworkers etc. were telling me they got the old me back. They hadn't seen me happier in many years. I too didn't realize it as the misery crept up slowly enough to really get a hold on me.

I took a vow back then that no matter what I would never ever let that happen again in any area of my life, I keep a close eye on this still all these years later.
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Having a niece that I've never had anything passed a generic conversation with tell me I'm a good human and several other young family members tell me straight up they missed having the old me around struck a serious cord.

I am in the same happiness camp too. Not going to happen again, I could tell my last girlfriend was leading me down the same creeping path and cut it off before it got bad.



45acp said:
Eh, I dunno about all that.

The most badass, premium divorce lawyer in this area is a chick. She usually only takes dudes. She murders bitches. Married females in this town tremble just hearing her name.
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Fact. The local shark is a woman that scares all other divorce lawyers. I paid to talk to her, I figured any lawyer that gives free consultations probably sucks. Turned out my old neighbor used her in custody court and she said she even scared her in court the way she bitch slapped the opposition around.
 
If you both drink, talk honestly about stopping for a month. It'll last a few days and be an eye opener for everyone.

If one of you drinks and one doesn't, go with your gut and know you communicated openly and fairly expressing yourself so you don't regret holding back feelings later.

If neither of you drink and communicate well, try drinking
 
Add said:
No offense, but fuck her for saying that shit to you. "I knew it was bad from the start, but stuck it out for 8 years".

That such a petty chicken shit thing to say to someone
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My lifelong best friend is going through a divorce right now and she's gone totally batshit crazy. David's first wife died, and she who I shall not name, her first husband died as well, no kids til they got married from either side. I thought they were great together, on the outside everything seemed great, but come to find out she'd been cheating for months, stealing money, etc..
he's now paying her 33 thousand dollars per year in child support just during the seperation and he says it's far cheaper than living with her. She was a bigger girl, David's a big guy too, but he paid for her to get that surgery, she lost a ton of weight, and i guess felt pretty and wanted to see what else she could find. In her head she literally even admitted that she expected to be able to fuck around a little and see what's out there and she'd be back, David was just to accept it. He didn't though. he makes good 6 figures, and now she's with a dude working two part time jobs, but that's just the beginning of the insanity. There's a attempted murder charge now, etc..
Long story short, RUN NOW
 
Man, what a day. Start a thread on here, get my mind thinking. It’s been nearly 8 months since she explicitly said no more sex, never again.

Sat down when the kids went to bed and tried to figure out the meal plan for the week as I grocery shop. She looks uncomfortable the whole time. I asked what’s up. Leads to nothing, then her saying it’s awkward just the 2 of us.

I say if things are that bad, we need to talk, nothing is working or changing. You regret all of this; what do you want? .....she replies she doesn’t know.

I keep pushing, she says talking never gets anywhere and wants to go to bed.....

All after having a great afternoon and evening with her kids and dinner by the fire and s’mores. And talking about getting her convertible spitfire ready for spring weather.

Sorry I’m venting
 
Drummer79 said:
My lifelong best friend is going through a divorce right now and she's gone totally batshit crazy. David's first wife died, and she who I shall not name, her first husband died as well, no kids til they got married from either side. I thought they were great together, on the outside everything seemed great, but come to find out she'd been cheating for months, stealing money, etc..
he's now paying her 33 thousand dollars per year in child support just during the seperation and he says it's far cheaper than living with her. She was a bigger girl, David's a big guy too, but he paid for her to get that surgery, she lost a ton of weight, and i guess felt pretty and wanted to see what else she could find. In her head she literally even admitted that she expected to be able to fuck around a little and see what's out there and she'd be back, David was just to accept it. He didn't though. he makes good 6 figures, and now she's with a dude working two part time jobs, but that's just the beginning of the insanity. There's a attempted murder charge now, etc..
Long story short, RUN NOW
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Man that’s a movie trailer....tell us more! You got me sucked in for the ending
 
pennsylvaniaboy said:
Man, what a day. Start a thread on here, get my mind thinking. It’s been nearly 8 months since she explicitly said no more sex, never again.

Sat down when the kids went to bed and tried to figure out the meal plan for the week as I grocery shop. She looks uncomfortable the whole time. I asked what’s up. Leads to nothing, then her saying it’s awkward just the 2 of us.

I say if things are that bad, we need to talk, nothing is working or changing. You regret all of this; what do you want? .....she replies she doesn’t know.

I keep pushing, she says talking never gets anywhere and wants to go to bed.....

All after having a great afternoon and evening with her kids and dinner by the fire and s’mores. And talking about getting her convertible spitfire ready for spring weather.

Sorry I’m venting
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No sex ever again 8 months ago? It was over right then. If she's not already getting it somewhere else, she's thinking about it and if you split, you'll know who within 6 weeks. I promise. Sorry man, I know it sucks.
 
Drummer79 said:
No sex ever again 8 months ago? It was over right then. If she's not already getting it somewhere else, she's thinking about it and if you split, you'll know who within 6 weeks. I promise. Sorry man, I know it sucks.
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No shit. No nookie? Cool, have a nice life. :homer:
 
One more thing

OP, if the relationship ends, it eventually DOES get better, it will take time. But it will happen
 
pennsylvaniaboy said:
Man that’s a movie trailer....tell us more! You got me sucked in for the ending
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Still awaiting the ending. She was fucking other guys and told him to do the same, when he did she flipped the fuck out, she was tracking him via phone location and knew he wasn't home and was apparently with someone else, so she texted and lured him to her place. All like "if you wnt to get back together come over here right now" and he was at the beach or somewhere, so his dumb ass, knowing she had already been cheating, went. When he showed up at the door, her new guy answered the door and pistol whipped him damn near to death. She stood there and didn't try to stop it, didn't call cops, the neighbors heard the commotion and called cops. Detective said it looked like a murder scene. he woke up in hospital two days later with a broken orbital socket, etc..
I told him to charge that bitch with conspiracy for murder 1, but he didn't do it "for the kids"..:rolleyes:
 
Drummer79 said:
Still awaiting the ending. She was fucking other guys and told him to do the same, when he did she flipped the fuck out, she was tracking him via phone location and knew he wasn't home and was apparently with someone else, so she texted and lured him to her place. All like "if you wnt to get back together come over here right now" and he was at the beach or somewhere, so his dumb ass, knowing she had already been cheating, went. When he showed up at the door, her new guy answered the door and pistol whipped him damn near to death. She stood there and didn't try to stop it, didn't call cops, the neighbors heard the commotion and called cops. Detective said it looked like a murder scene. he woke up in hospital two days later with a broken orbital socket, etc..
I told him to charge that bitch with conspiracy for murder 1, but he didn't do it "for the kids"..:rolleyes:
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Apparently he was fucking the wrong dudes?
 
Drummer79 said:
No sex ever again 8 months ago? It was over right then. If she's not already getting it somewhere else, she's thinking about it and if you split, you'll know who within 6 weeks. I promise. Sorry man, I know it sucks.
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This. All women are like monkeys, they're always looking for a new banana before they are done with the one they have.

my advice having never been divorced, or more thankfully married; Call every lawyer in the book tomorrow, twice. Remember to do what's best for your kids. Find a way to release stress. When my parents split the stress really got my dad. Lost a bunch of weight, stress so bad he got hauled to the hospital they thought he was having a heart attack. He worked endlessly in a factory because he was losing his ass, but he always managed to make time for us. I dont know how he did it, but he got custody of us, this was late 80's.
 
ConwayMuddy said:
This. All women are like monkeys, they're always looking for a new banana before they are done with the one they have.
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Some juggle a handful at the same time and maybe a random 1 or 2 each night trying to fill the void left by their ex husband. It's probably more fun to watch from the outside but in hindsight it's still pretty funny. :laughing:
 
pennsylvaniaboy said:
Man, what a day. Start a thread on here, get my mind thinking. It’s been nearly 8 months since she explicitly said no more sex, never again.
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That is grounds for divorce. Not because of the sex explicitly, but the lack of care for your basic human needs. If she has no desire, she has an unaddressed medical problem. If she won’t get help knowing you need that, then she won’t fix anything else. If she does have desire still, she’s cheating. Sorry. I really am.
 
pennsylvaniaboy said:
Man, what a day. Start a thread on here, get my mind thinking. It’s been nearly 8 months since she explicitly said no more sex, never again.

Sat down when the kids went to bed and tried to figure out the meal plan for the week as I grocery shop. She looks uncomfortable the whole time. I asked what’s up. Leads to nothing, then her saying it’s awkward just the 2 of us.

I say if things are that bad, we need to talk, nothing is working or changing. You regret all of this; what do you want? .....she replies she doesn’t know.

I keep pushing, she says talking never gets anywhere and wants to go to bed.....

All after having a great afternoon and evening with her kids and dinner by the fire and s’mores. And talking about getting her convertible spitfire ready for spring weather.

Sorry I’m venting
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shes most likely fucking someone else(probably been through more than one and hasnt found the one to replace you yet)but you take better care of paying the bills so she doesnt want to leave
 
IEATRKS84 said:
bro..... its done.

go see a couple divorce attorneys and dont tell her. Dont let on to it at all. Do what they tell you and move on with your life.

End of the day, she is using you.
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please listen to this guy NOW
 
I think you’re two selfish people with resentments that need to drop whatever it is you’re pissed off about and get back to doing what brought you together. Your kids deserve better than this.
 
pennsylvaniaboy said:
Man, what a day. Start a thread on here, get my mind thinking. It’s been nearly 8 months since she explicitly said no more sex, never again.

Sat down when the kids went to bed and tried to figure out the meal plan for the week as I grocery shop. She looks uncomfortable the whole time. I asked what’s up. Leads to nothing, then her saying it’s awkward just the 2 of us.

I say if things are that bad, we need to talk, nothing is working or changing. You regret all of this; what do you want? .....she replies she doesn’t know.

I keep pushing, she says talking never gets anywhere and wants to go to bed.....

All after having a great afternoon and evening with her kids and dinner by the fire and s’mores. And talking about getting her convertible spitfire ready for spring weather.

Sorry I’m venting
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This right here is why 70% of women file first.. time to file separation and split finances immediately! Once sex is taken off the table there's usually someone else filling needs.. most long term relationship women won't leave till they have another to move on to. Women are like fish, lots of them in the sea. Go fishing you'll be ok...

Also.. do what's best for you.. that will trickle down best for your kids.. do not stay financially connected now.. you guys are not on the same team any more. If you don't pay bills nows time to learn. I see so many guys get fucked so bad and it's all avoidable
 
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I've read through about half this thread, and I recently went though a full blown falling out. It was bad. Screaming, mocking ones behavior... Just...Bad.

I have plenty of options, no children, together for 19 years married 17.

We fought it out. Fuck it. I said fuck you get out! She said no, I won't leave. OK, plan "B"...Get out! Nope, she wouldn't leave. Fine, lawyer or half.. Half.. Get Out! Nope.

I'm actually glad she stood her ground. Call me a pussy if you will, but we worked it out. We are both very strong willed individuals, and would not give way to what the other was proposing. After that night we realized we loved each other very much, we were both being selfish, and we needed to get this figured out. So far hitting rock bottom, and talking through it has worked.

Speaking of the "joking with my wife thread" I blatantly walked into the kitchen yesterday with power steering (edit reservoir) and said "Ima throw this bitch in the dishwasher, cool?" "Sure, just empty it first"..."nevermind, I got it"

I think although we went through some really bad shit we have it worked out.

YMMV
 
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pennsylvaniaboy said:
Man, what a day. Start a thread on here, get my mind thinking. It’s been nearly 8 months since she explicitly said no more sex, never again.

Sat down when the kids went to bed and tried to figure out the meal plan for the week as I grocery shop. She looks uncomfortable the whole time. I asked what’s up. Leads to nothing, then her saying it’s awkward just the 2 of us.

I say if things are that bad, we need to talk, nothing is working or changing. You regret all of this; what do you want? .....she replies she doesn’t know.

I keep pushing, she says talking never gets anywhere and wants to go to bed.....

All after having a great afternoon and evening with her kids and dinner by the fire and s’mores. And talking about getting her convertible spitfire ready for spring weather.

Sorry I’m venting
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How much for the Spitfire?:flipoff2:

Seriously though it's over. Start putting any energy you had been giving her into yourself and the kids and tell her to GTFO. She ain't even trying while you're busting ass, even if and it's a 1% if, it worked out you would resent her for the rest of your time together.
 
IEATRKS84 said:
I mean, really, "experts" out there act like sex aint nothing, but imagine a scenario where you would NEVER............ EVER EVER EVER have sex with your spouse.

Thats not a relationship anymore is it?
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Everyone likes sex (well not lesbians:lmao:) if your not getting it or told no more ever, then someone else is filling your shoes.
 
pennsylvaniaboy said:
Man, what a day. Start a thread on here, get my mind thinking. It’s been nearly 8 months since she explicitly said no more sex, never again.

Sat down when the kids went to bed and tried to figure out the meal plan for the week as I grocery shop. She looks uncomfortable the whole time. I asked what’s up. Leads to nothing, then her saying it’s awkward just the 2 of us.

I say if things are that bad, we need to talk, nothing is working or changing. You regret all of this; what do you want? .....she replies she doesn’t know.

I keep pushing, she says talking never gets anywhere and wants to go to bed.....

All after having a great afternoon and evening with her kids and dinner by the fire and s’mores. And talking about getting her convertible spitfire ready for spring weather.

Sorry I’m venting
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she's having an affair. It is done.
 
This woman is passive aggressive in a really sick way. She might not be cheating, but she is controlling you entirely.

I’d tell her if she regrets it then get out, and help her pack. Put her money where her mouth is.

My wife and I went through a bad patch early on. I took my ring off one night and wrote her a letter that said if she was done then get the hell out and don’t come back. She read it after I was gone for work.

Needless to say we worked it out. But you need to put reality into this and either leave or kick her out or go start it up with a divorce attorney.
 
pennsylvaniaboy said:
Man, what a day. Start a thread on here, get my mind thinking. It’s been nearly 8 months since she explicitly said no more sex, never again.

Sat down when the kids went to bed and tried to figure out the meal plan for the week as I grocery shop. She looks uncomfortable the whole time. I asked what’s up. Leads to nothing, then her saying it’s awkward just the 2 of us.

I say if things are that bad, we need to talk, nothing is working or changing. You regret all of this; what do you want? .....she replies she doesn’t know.

I keep pushing, she says talking never gets anywhere and wants to go to bed.....

All after having a great afternoon and evening with her kids and dinner by the fire and s’mores. And talking about getting her convertible spitfire ready for spring weather.

Sorry I’m venting
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Dude, it’s over. Start your exit plan.

How old are you guys? Unless she has some serious medical issues there’s no way she’s writing off sex forever. Maybe with you, but not completely.
 
To everyone saying exit, call a lawyer. We have discussed divorce. She had no interest in making it a fight over stuff or custody. In that conversation she just wanted to be free from all this. So I’m thinking about that, lawyering up seems like an aggressive move vs meeting with one together if that’s what really happens. She shahid she has no interest in getting the courts involved.
 
pennsylvaniaboy said:
To everyone saying exit, call a lawyer. We have discussed divorce. She had no interest in making it a fight over stuff or custody. In that conversation she just wanted to be free from all this. So I’m thinking about that, lawyering up seems like an aggressive move vs meeting with one together if that’s what really happens. She shahid she has no interest in getting the courts involved.
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Doesn't sound wise. Next thing you know, she's got the house and you're moving into someone's bus.
 
pennsylvaniaboy said:
To everyone saying exit, call a lawyer. We have discussed divorce. She had no interest in making it a fight over stuff or custody. In that conversation she just wanted to be free from all this. So I’m thinking about that, lawyering up seems like an aggressive move vs meeting with one together if that’s what really happens. She shahid she has no interest in getting the courts involved.
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I wouldnt believe a word she says. Call every lawyer in the book.
 
woods said:
Doesn't sound wise. Next thing you know, she's got the house and you're moving into someone's bus.
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Oh we would still use a lawyer. I’m not that dumb. Kids, house and savings are gonna be the big 3.
 
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