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Things Children Say

Projectjunkie said:
My dad is a dirty hippy elementary school teacher, and we don't agree on much, but he's nailed some things.
Talk to your kids like crazy when they are babies. Got a 5mo in the shopping cart at grocery store?
"I'm pushing you in the shopping cart down the aisle at the grocery store so we can buy food to eat this week. I'm going to buy one box of cheerios cereal, in the yellow box, and one box of rice crispies in the blue box. We put it in a bowl, then we pour in milk, and sometimes honey for a yummy breakfast in the morning"

It's long winded as fuck, but they soak it all up like a sponge, and when they are ready to speak, they are good with words and shit:laughing:

Doesn't necessarily make them any "smarter" but it gives them a jumpstart on vocabulary, which gives them a jumpstart on communication, jumpstart on learning, etc
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I do this as well as taking kiddo everywhere I go. I never leave him home because he'd be a hinderance. On days its just him and I, I do all my errands with him. He's very well versed with Home Depot, NAPA, grocery store, BassPro, lumber yard, TSC, etc. He's right there with me.
 
woods said:
I do this as well as taking kiddo everywhere I go. I never leave him home because he'd be a hinderance. On days its just him and I, I do all my errands with him. He's very well versed with Home Depot, NAPA, grocery store, BassPro, lumber yard, TSC, etc. He's right there with me.
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My son was maybe 3 weeks old when we took him out to eat for the 1st time. (Easier than it sounds, even as a newborn he was the happiest baby ever). Since birth he's gone everywhere with us along with his little sister.

Wife has friends that had a little girl months after we had the boy. She wouldn't ride in a car until she was 3. Couldn't even dream of taking her somewhere like a grocery store.

Them from day one- if the baby fusses then we need to do something else, and not do the thing that made her fuss ever again. And now she'll soon be 6, and is a spoiled little female asshole that runs their house.

Our son fusses maybe once a month outside the house. He gets the 1000 yard Vietnam stare... he stops fussing. When he was 3, he had that ass yanked outside the front door of Cracker Barrel and got tore up in front of a crowd of people. He remembers. He knows that stare comes 1st, then you get snatched out the front door. And when the nice young lady in the overpriced rocking chair objects to the parental violence, dad will say "MIND YOUR BUSINESS" in a very scary tone and everyone will get quiet.

My kids are wild as fuck and are probably some new level of ADHD not yet seen before on earth. They're also polite, and they mind. If you start soon enough it's not hard.
 
Aggie06 said:
Our pediatrician recommended speech therapy for our daughter who will turn two next month. Cost through the hospital was $500/week. Insurance would cover $0. We ended up finding a private therapist and did it for around 2 months. Honestly, I think it was unnecessary, but it made my wife feel more comfortable. My wife went to all of the appointments and said the therapist did the same stuff we were already doing.

Kid is very aware of everything. She talks more every day.
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45acp said:
We went through the same thing with our son, did speech therapy @2 because he didnt have enough words, i thought it was probably a waste of time- same shit we're doing at home but whatever... by 3 he's asking me to "open engine compartment" on tractor and is pointing out battery, radiator, etc... all shit he learned watching Blippi. Now he just turned 6, is kicking ass in kindergarten and is actually pretty advanced.

I dont think early speech mastery is a sign of intelligence or a future ability to learn/retain information, but oh well.
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I asked our Ped just out of curiousity and her reply was "if hes using words to identify things, whether or not you understand the words, hes fine". She said a lot of kids dont start speaking more intelligibly till around 3, if he doesnt then maybe have him assessed. She also said that her oldest daughter didnt really start talking till 3 1/2 and she was starting to get concerned and then when she put her in day school she just started yapping one day and hasnt stopped since.
 
Projectjunkie said:
My dad is a dirty hippy elementary school teacher, and we don't agree on much, but he's nailed some things.
Talk to your kids like crazy when they are babies. Got a 5mo in the shopping cart at grocery store?
"I'm pushing you in the shopping cart down the aisle at the grocery store so we can buy food to eat this week. I'm going to buy one box of cheerios cereal, in the yellow box, and one box of rice crispies in the blue box. We put it in a bowl, then we pour in milk, and sometimes honey for a yummy breakfast in the morning"

It's long winded as fuck, but they soak it all up like a sponge, and when they are ready to speak, they are good with words and shit:laughing:

Doesn't necessarily make them any "smarter" but it gives them a jumpstart on vocabulary, which gives them a jumpstart on communication, jumpstart on learning, etc
Click to expand...
We’ve been doing this since birth. Now that she’s a little older, and likes playing at the grandparents, we leave her there some when running errands.
 
Thefishguy77 said:
Oldest used to yell. I’m done, come wipe my butt!
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I raised my cousins kid for quite awhile. When we first took him in he would yell "come wipe my butt!" Two or three times. If you didnt come like right now, hed come right out to where you were and shout "I SAID COME WIPE MY BUTT!" then hed bend over and show you his dirty ass. :lmao:

He got educated quickly. He's doing very well for himself now. He says my boot upside his ass got him where he is.
 
Projectjunkie said:
My dad is a dirty hippy elementary school teacher, and we don't agree on much, but he's nailed some things.
Talk to your kids like crazy when they are babies. Got a 5mo in the shopping cart at grocery store?
"I'm pushing you in the shopping cart down the aisle at the grocery store so we can buy food to eat this week. I'm going to buy one box of cheerios cereal, in the yellow box, and one box of rice crispies in the blue box. We put it in a bowl, then we pour in milk, and sometimes honey for a yummy breakfast in the morning"

It's long winded as fuck, but they soak it all up like a sponge, and when they are ready to speak, they are good with words and shit:laughing:

Doesn't necessarily make them any "smarter" but it gives them a jumpstart on vocabulary, which gives them a jumpstart on communication, jumpstart on learning, etc
Click to expand...

And don't use baby talk. Always talk to them like they are adults!
 
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woods said:
Eh, you don't hear it often up here in the north. I can't think of anyone that uses it.
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My oldest says yes sir when he gets spoken to in a stern voice and he knows he shit he bed. And if he doesn’t I require it. It’s subtle but it is a game changer. Most pf our friends do the same thing. #hillbillies #rednecks #workingclass
 
Squamch said:
And don't use baby talk. Always talk to them like they are adults!
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We've talked to them like grownups since day 1.

Here's the boy, maybe 6 months old, in my lap hypnotized watching Tool videos. I can blast Forty Six and 2 in the shop right now and he'll go into a trance

12391302_1038198359559544_1434363699821283007_n.jpg
 
45acp said:
We've talked to them like grownups since day 1.

Here's the boy, maybe 6 months old, in my lap hypnotized watching Tool videos. I can blast Forty Six and 2 in the shop right now and he'll go into a trance

12391302_1038198359559544_1434363699821283007_n.jpg
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You have to careful though talking to them like grownups. What in the fucking hell were you thinking? While that is appropriate for many situations with grownups I was informed it was never appropriate for young children.

The more you know:lmao:
 
Thefishguy77 said:
You have to careful though talking to them like grownups. What in the fucking hell were you thinking? While that is appropriate for many situations with grownups I was informed it was never appropriate for young children.

The more you know:lmao:
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Yea, we slip with the words sometimes. :laughing:
 
I am think we are going to go the route of this is ok around us but not out in public. I cant ask them to not say what we say. Hell, my wife is in freight and talks with truck drivers, warehouses and other companies. Sometimes she can make a sailor blush. And I am not much better some times. We have some friends that do this and it works well. Also only heard one slip up from their oldest after 3 days of camping. And that was after he dropped his food. He mumbled fuck. We all about pissed ourselves laughing. Then he regained his composure, before we did mind you, and apologized around the circle with I’m sorry sir and I’m sorry ma’am.
 
45acp said:
If you start soon enough it's not hard.
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I watched my mom with my youngest sister who was about 3 at the time. She reached out to grab my mom's cup of hot coffee and was told "no, don't touch". She pulled her hand back and then did it again. Mom said no and gently slapped the back of her hand which of course started the tears. She reached out again, got another little slap on the hand, tears and now squalling. She kept it up through the tears and squalling until my mom finally convinced her but it was a whole bunch of who was the most determined. She did mind a whole bunch better after that.

I don't think enough parents have the intestinal fortitude to win that test of will nowadays and it shows.
 
Stuck said:
I asked our Ped just out of curiousity and her reply was "if hes using words to identify things, whether or not you understand the words, hes fine". She said a lot of kids dont start speaking more intelligibly till around 3, if he doesnt then maybe have him assessed. She also said that her oldest daughter didnt really start talking till 3 1/2 and she was starting to get concerned and then when she put her in day school she just started yapping one day and hasnt stopped since.
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My oldest, my son, was late in speaking. We had a speech therapist helping. When he started speaking, he never stopped. We'd joke that he was vaccinated with a phonograph needle.

Turns out he is a super-Brainiac genius. In his early 20s he is already an adjunct Professor teaching human anatomy at a well-known medical school.

Every kid has their own pace.
 
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45acp said:
We've talked to them like grownups since day 1.

Here's the boy, maybe 6 months old, in my lap hypnotized watching Tool videos. I can blast Forty Six and 2 in the shop right now and he'll go into a trance

12391302_1038198359559544_1434363699821283007_n.jpg
Click to expand...
My kid LOVES metal and big hair rock. Two of his most used words are "Wanna Rock!" which means he wants youtube metal playlist on the tv and he stands there and rocks out. He clenches his fists gets a scowl and bangs his head to the music. Its hysterical.
 
45acp said:
My son was maybe 3 weeks old when we took him out to eat for the 1st time. (Easier than it sounds, even as a newborn he was the happiest baby ever). Since birth he's gone everywhere with us along with his little sister.

Wife has friends that had a little girl months after we had the boy. She wouldn't ride in a car until she was 3. Couldn't even dream of taking her somewhere like a grocery store.

Them from day one- if the baby fusses then we need to do something else, and not do the thing that made her fuss ever again. And now she'll soon be 6, and is a spoiled little female asshole that runs their house.

Our son fusses maybe once a month outside the house. He gets the 1000 yard Vietnam stare... he stops fussing. When he was 3, he had that ass yanked outside the front door of Cracker Barrel and got tore up in front of a crowd of people. He remembers. He knows that stare comes 1st, then you get snatched out the front door. And when the nice young lady in the overpriced rocking chair objects to the parental violence, dad will say "MIND YOUR BUSINESS" in a very scary tone and everyone will get quiet.

My kids are wild as fuck and are probably some new level of ADHD not yet seen before on earth. They're also polite, and they mind. If you start soon enough it's not hard.
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Yawp. Same here. He knows the tone of my voice. I can BOOM loud. I am not quiet when I talk. He knows when he's in trouble.

BUt yea, we've taken him everywhere. We never go out to eat though. Just not our thing. BUt he'll wait in line, wait his turn, say thank you, etc. I feel like we're doing an alright job.
 
Actually, a bit of a story.

I was getting a few things to build an indoor storage cart for the firewood. Brought him to Lowes with me. He must've been two years old. Grave Digger HotWHeels in hand, I rolled him into the store on one of those larger cart thing to haul lumber out. I walked by the checkout, and there, uh, older guys all chuckled. There was a line of five or six of them waiting to checkout. They all smiled and chuckled, man it seems just like yesterday I was doing that with my kid. -yea, me too - yep, same here. now he's got two of his own. It was such a cool feeling. Like I became part of a community I never knew existed, but was always surrounded by.
 
Sceep said:
Nio shit eh? Weird.

I probably use them 2-3 a day.
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Same here. I always get compliments from the wimmens when I use miss instead of ma'am. We simply don't use those terms up here. I like to though.
 
Ksand said:
That's my son, in public he's a perfect angel but at home he's like having a hyperactive velociraptor.
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Yes.

Pre-K and kindergarten teachers- "He's such an angel, he's really advanced... loves everyone... best student of the year award... he's really a dream to have every day"

son at home- :snorts 1ft line of crystal meth: :crashes elec. atv into living room: :breaks ceiling fan jumping from top bed: :eats frogs and shit: "OOPS SORRY DADDY! SORRY!"
 
YotaAtieToo said:
4 year old is at this stage, except its at the top of his lungs "I'M DONE, I, SAID, I'M, DONEEE!!!!" I'm like, OK dude, give me 30 damn seconds to get in there. :laughing:
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Not only do I recognize this I get "weave me ah-wone" and he has now taken to reading books until he is done.

My wife has been telling me "just ignore him" when he acts up. Little shit was in the garage and we're trying to leave. "Get. in. the. car." I says to him. He comes back in a quiet voice and says "just ignore me." ohhhh.




oh yeah, I LOVE this one.
I'm pushing him in the shopping cart at the grocery store. 3.5 years old. My wife says something as she turns her head.
Son: "What did you say to me?"
me :laughing:
Wife "what did you say to me?"
me :laughing:
son: "What did you say to me?"
me :lmao:
Wife: looks at me confused.
me : he LITERALLY said "what did you say to me" when you didn't understand what he said, so when you asked him he told you and you thought he was mouthing off or something.

His negotiation tactics are coming into play as well.
me: How many gummy worms do you want?
him: FIVE!
me (not wanting to share) "how about 1?"
him "ummmmm FREE"
Me: Two
Him "YEAH!"
 
plym49.2 said:
When all three of my kids were really little, the two older ones convinced the little one that there were other siblings that she had never met. Each of these imaginary siblings had a name and a backstory. One was off in college and never came home, another one was killed by agent Orange in Vietnam (agent Orange worked for the CIA), and so on.

When we eventually found out about it I was very impressed by the teamwork the two older ones showed in creating a narrative, sticking to it, and making sure no one knew.
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as a kid I had my little sister convinced that chucken nuggets were deep fried baby chicks

sitting in mcdonalds
she was about 8 and looks at me, where is the fuzzy then?
I point to the breading
where is the legs and beak?
they get crispy in the fryer and fall off

she still wont eat nuggets and that was a good 20 years ago :laughing:
 
woods said:
Actually, a bit of a story.

I was getting a few things to build an indoor storage cart for the firewood. Brought him to Lowes with me. He must've been two years old. Grave Digger HotWHeels in hand, I rolled him into the store on one of those larger cart thing to haul lumber out. I walked by the checkout, and there, uh, older guys all chuckled. There was a line of five or six of them waiting to checkout. They all smiled and chuckled, man it seems just like yesterday I was doing that with my kid. -yea, me too - yep, same here. now he's got two of his own. It was such a cool feeling. Like I became part of a community I never knew existed, but was always surrounded by.
Click to expand...

The dad club is cool.
Sharing the dumbass things your kid did on the weekend Monday morning at work, or bragging up the cool shit they did.
Taking him into the parts store, tool store, or lumberyard is great, he's always into doing stuff with me, and wants to learn.
 
Holy shit this thread has me rollin...

Now for my contributions from my 3yr old. He's sees something, hears something and its surprises him..."daaammn" :lmao:. He can use motherfucker in just about every context correctly.

Just 5min ago my wife has him ready for bed, he's in our bedroom, him and my wife are going back and forth talking then I hear:

Wife: Well Im going to bed
Kid: Well Im going to poop!
Wife: Fine go. Close the door on the way out.
Kid: Nah Im goin to bed too.

:laughing:
 
SomeGuyFromOlympia said:
as a kid I had my little sister convinced that chucken nuggets were deep fried baby chicks

sitting in mcdonalds
she was about 8 and looks at me, where is the fuzzy then?
I point to the breading
where is the legs and beak?
they get crispy in the fryer and fall off

she still wont eat nuggets and that was a good 20 years ago :laughing:
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I did similar to my sister. She had just gotten over dissection of a chicken at school as was trying chicken for the first time in months. This was right when, foster farms I think, was advertising fresh from our farm to your table in a day. Just as she was about to take her first bite I said. Can you believe this thing was running in the dirt yesterday? She was done, mom was super pissed, dad damn near spit his food out laughing so hard. That pissed mom off even more:lmao:. And with a straight face I said. “What? Its true.”:lmao::lmao::lmao:
She didnt eat chicken for as long as I paid attention after that.
 
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