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Muckin_Slusher

Muckin_Slusher

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May 19, 2020
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I just had a conversation with my daughter's friend. Every single conversation with her is hilarious and you cannot help but laugh.

"What's this?"
"A packing peanut"
"Where'd you get it?" (very demanding voice!)
"From a package"
"What package" (still very demanding)
"I don't know"

"Well I need to know so I can order one and get some of these packing peanuts!" :lmao:

P9202252.JPG
 
Another conversation, same girl.

We were outside on our front lawn in winter (during covid when you're not supposed to gather). I had my portable wood stove setup and my kids and the neighborhood kids were sliding down the huge snowbanks. Momma was cooking up skewered shrimp/pineapple/chorizo for us and hot dogs for all the kiddies.

We make this little girl a hot dog on a bun. She's very straight-to-the-point when she speaks. She wanted ketchup and mustard on the dog.

"Where is the ketchup and mustard?"
"Under the wiener"
"Why is it there?"
"So it's not as messy when you eat it. You put your ketchup and mustard on top?"
"Yeah"

I yelled at momma to put some ketchup and mustard on top of the wiener.

"Is that better"


"Yeah. Thanks. So you guys always put the mustard and ketchup under the wiener?"
"Yes"
"Wow, how do you live like that?" :lmao:
 
In for sure. I have an almost 4 year old and an almost 3 year old. Combine that with shit they've learned from their almost 9 year old brother and the stuff they say can be hilarious.

I'm mostly drawing a blank. But for a while the 4 year old was running around with a Lego gun very clearly yelling "SHIT, SHIT....BOOM!" SHIT, SHIT..... BOOM! ":lmao:

We didn't correct him, it was too funny.
 
I have to agree with having the mustard and ketchup on top, but I put the mayonnaise on the bottom

My 4 y/o niece pokes my dad in his gut and asks him if he “has a baby in there” lol
 
So in this. Hopefully the thread keeps building.

My boys are currently 5 and 7.

We had come back from a trip to town a week or ago. Wife was at work. The boys are snacking on some peanuts. 5-year-old, being goofy and rolling around on the floor says in a silly and demanding tone, "Put some of those in my mouth". 7-year-old asks, "What?" (essentially asking "Put some of what in your mouth?". 5-year-old goes, "Those nuts!!".
 
Good friend’s 16 mo baby girl was helping open presents. I was encouraging her to open em like she Meant it. She went to shreddin shit, had the whole room and herself laughin our asses off.

Now she shreds any magazine she gets ahold of & giggles herself silly. Funny as shit. Kid comes in & its “oh shit put the books up” :lmao::lmao:

Sorry Mom. :laughing:

Thanks for this thread. Nothin makes me giggle like a kid bein a kid. :beer:
 
My wife has breat-fed all the kids. When my daughter was an infant, my second son, 2 at the time, called my wife's tits "sissy num-nums".
Before you ask, no pics:flipoff2:
 
My middle and youngest daughter were very, very young. Middle one complains to my wife that the little one was writing on her with a ball point pen.

My wife tells the little one that she should not write on her sister.

Little one, in the most angelic voice possible, says "I wasn't trying to write on her, I was trying to stab her".
 
When my boys were toddlers the used to run around sayin "Dirty Hoe"

MY ex was bent as hell and was sure it had come from the garage.\

We were driving across country and the kids were watching "The Cat In The Hat" with Mike Myers and from the back seat I heard "Dirty Hoe" and the kids started laffin like crazy.


I looked over at the dumb **** and politely told here to fuck off.
 
YotaAtieToo said:
4 year old is at this stage, except its at the top of his lungs "I'M DONE, I, SAID, I'M, DONEEE!!!!" I'm like, OK dude, give me 30 damn seconds to get in there. :laughing:
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Our neighbors have a 4 or so year old boy. I'm assuming it is when he is done with a bath or shower, but he screams at the top of his lungs over and over TOWEL...TOWEL....TOWEL....TOWEL. until one of his parents bring him one.

If we are in the back yard working on the garden my wife and I just bust up laughing:lmao:
 
My two+ year old loves trucks. His favorite are dump trucks. All day long its dumf fuck this and dumf fuck that, wan my dumf fuck. We were at sams club and they had these big yellow tonka dump trucks. So of course as soon as he sees them he starts yelling at the top of his lungs "DUMF FUCK! DUMF FUCK!" Like 20 people just stop and look "I WANNA DUMF FUCK!" and when they realize what hes yelling about they all just start laughing. Which of course is his cue for "DUMF FUCK DUMF FUCK DUMF FUCK!" . Wife is embarrassed, I was laughing as I handed him the dump truck. Which of course he drops on the floor and lets out a very clear "Oh fuck!". He has that one down pretty good, context and all. Pretty sure that ones my fault. :shaking:
 
KarlVP said:
My oldest was about four.

I noticed her shoes were on the wrong feet and told her.

She looked very distraught and said "Dad, these are the only feet I have".
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There's no winning this. I tell my daughter your shoes are on backwards. No they're not daddy see They're on the right way. (Front to back not side to side)
 
Stuck said:
My two+ year old loves trucks. His favorite are dump trucks. All day long its dumf fuck this and dumf fuck that, wan my dumf fuck. We were at sams club and they had these big yellow tonka dump trucks. So of course as soon as he sees them he starts yelling at the top of his lungs "DUMF FUCK! DUMF FUCK!" Like 20 people just stop and look "I WANNA DUMF FUCK!" and when they realize what hes yelling about they all just start laughing. Which of course is his cue for "DUMF FUCK DUMF FUCK DUMF FUCK!" . Wife is embarrassed, I was laughing as I handed him the dump truck. Which of course he drops on the floor and lets out a very clear "Oh fuck!". He has that one down pretty good, context and all. Pretty sure that ones my fault. :shaking:
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A buddy's daughter was in kindergarten, dropped a pencil...deep exasperated sigh, and as she bent over to pick it up "oh, for fuck's sake..."
 
Squamch said:
A buddy's daughter was in kindergarten, dropped a pencil...deep exasperated sigh, and as she bent over to pick it up "oh, for fuck's sake..."
Click to expand...
Its getting bad. Hes at the parrot stage and is trying to say everything I do. He doesnt give a rats patoot what my wife says but every little stupid thing I mutter comes right back. Its funny she tries working with him all day to get him to repeat after her, and he just looks at her and says "no" real short and sweet and goes back to his cars. She gets pissed and hes just sitting there happy as a clam. Of course I think its hysterical so Im the asshole.
 
I used to tease my daughter when she was 3 or 4 and ask her if her face hurt. Her response " No, but yours is bothering mine". LOL

I have been greeting my granddaughters with " Hi Ya pal!". The 2 y.o. responds with "I not Pal, I CeCe." :)
 
I’ve been doing a 1,2,3 count when the kid is doing something she has been asked not to do. Little shit looked at me the other day and and put one finger up and started to try for two. I was laughing so I lost credibility.
 
So my 4 year old earlier

"there is a girl at my preschool with a blue jacket"

"ok, that's cool, what's her name?"

"I don't know"

:laughing:

Typical guy....

Reminds me of my oldest when he was in preschool. More than once, we'd be out somewhere and hear

"Colton. COLTON! Hey, Colton! Hi! Did you see my dad, Colton?!" (or whatever random kid comment)

Kid walks off, my son barely reacted.

Me "who was that?"

Colton "I don't know"

:lmao:
 
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