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babylonbee.com

Ted Cruz Grows Out Mutton Chops In Preparation For Civil War

AUSTIN, TX — Tensions have escalated dramatically between the federal government and the Lone Star State as illegal immigration continues unabated at the southern border. Following the Supreme Court's decision in favor of the Biden Administration's right to remove razor wire placed by Governor...
babylonbee.com babylonbee.com

Ted Cruz Grows Out Mutton Chops In Preparation For Civil War
U.S.·Jan 25, 2024 · BabylonBee.com

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AUSTIN, TX — Tensions have escalated dramatically between the federal government and the Lone Star State as illegal immigration continues unabated at the southern border. Following the Supreme Court's decision in favor of the Biden Administration's right to remove razor wire placed by Governor Abbott's National Guard, Texas Senator Ted Cruz grew out mutton chops in preparation for Civil War.
"I do declare that the fed'ral gubment has overstepped its authoriteh," said the Texas lawmaker to a crowd of armed Texans as his extravagant sideburns jiggled dramatically with each drawling syllable. "Our dear state is under bombardment by both invaders from the south and those good-fer-nuthin', carpet-baggin' bureaucrats from up nooowaath."
The crowd reportedly cheered in response, firing their AR-15's and pitchforks into the air with hoots and hollers. The state's southern belles then began lining up to donate their fine jewelry to the cause of smelting enough razor wire to surround the entire state in addition to the city of Austin.
Senator Cruz's wife, Miss Heidi "Annabelle" Cruz, was even seen tearfully removing the pearl earrings she'd purchased while in Cancun and placing them into the donation basket for smelting.
At publishing time, Senator Cruz had been seen riding a horse through town, yelling, "The Feds are coming! The Feds are coming! To arms! To arms!"
 
thedailybs.com

Texas sheriffs to trucker convoy heading to border: 'Don’t come to Texas' - The Daily Bo Snerdley

(The Center Square) – Texas sheriffs and some residents have a message for a trucker convoy scheduled to come to the Texas border on Feb. 3: “Don’t come.” Organizer of the “Take Our Border Back Southern Border Convoy & 3-state Rally” are calling on “all active and retired law enforcement and...
thedailybs.com

The sheriff is saying please don't come because you'll we don't have the facilities , and you'll make more of an impact in NY or DC
 
bigun said:
thedailybs.com

Texas sheriffs to trucker convoy heading to border: 'Don’t come to Texas' - The Daily Bo Snerdley

(The Center Square) – Texas sheriffs and some residents have a message for a trucker convoy scheduled to come to the Texas border on Feb. 3: “Don’t come.” Organizer of the “Take Our Border Back Southern Border Convoy & 3-state Rally” are calling on “all active and retired law enforcement and...
thedailybs.com

The sheriff is saying please don't come because you'll we don't have the facilities , and you'll make more of an impact in NY or DC
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That's actually understandable.

Thank you but we've got this.
 
Stuck said:
Biden will call to federalize the TX NG and tell them to stand down. Theyll resist for all of 5 minutes until they get threatened with court martials and theyll all fold. TX dps will hold for a minute longer until a few of them and Abbott get arrested by DOJ and they rest will all walk away. Its awesome theyre doing it but it wont last.
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Bump
 
Stuck said:
Biden will call to federalize the TX NG and tell them to stand down. Theyll resist for all of 5 minutes until they get threatened with court martials and theyll all fold. TX dps will hold for a minute longer until a few of them and Abbott get arrested by DOJ and they rest will all walk away. Its awesome theyre doing it but it wont last.
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This is not the first time the Texas Guard as told big army to fuck off and won..... Just saying....
 
Saw on the propaganda channel that a $110B bipartisan immigration bill is being/has passed.

Bill included $60B for Ukraine, $14B for Israel, and other smaller amounts that were equally unrelated to the bill...
 
BDK said:
That's 1,825,000 a year. Fuck that!
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Exactly. And all this other bullshit is thrown in intentionally to make the bill fail so they can turn around and blame the GOP for not being willing to support border control. The public will never hear why, just that Republicans killed "bipartisan" legislation.
 
Rerock said:
Saw on the propaganda channel that a $110B bipartisan immigration bill is being/has passed.

Bill included $60B for Ukraine, $14B for Israel, and other smaller amounts that were equally unrelated to the bill...
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Well thank God those two shit bag nations are getting theirs. :mad3:

Where the part where I, the person who has to fund all this, actually gets a say in it? Also just stop before I get some speech out of my 4thbgrade social studies class on how a representative government works, because it clearly does not.
 
Slander said:
Well thank God those two shit bag nations are getting theirs. :mad3:

Where the part where I, the person who has to fund all this, actually gets a say in it? Also just stop before I get some speech out of my 4thbgrade social studies class on how a representative government works, because it clearly does not.
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there was also $10b in aid to Gaza...

Talk about playing both sides.
 
I don't mind some of my tax dollars going to Israel. I think their cause is just, and that they are going to prevail. I also think that having them kill a bunch of murdering, rapists, child stealing, use their own people for human shields morally corrupt evil assholes is in our best interest.

Ukraine on the other hand, is a lost cause. The only reasons to further support Ukraine is to bleed Russia and make money for our military industrial complex, which in turn gets laundered back to the politicians. The problem with bleeding Russia, is Putin doesn't give a shit about his people, the economy, or losing equipment. We shouldn't be fighting Russians, even by proxy. They are some of the coolest, hold my beer (vodka) type rednecks I've ever met.

Having said all that, the bill is fucked. They don't need more money or more laws to control the border. They need to enforce the current laws. I don't have a problem with legal immigration, but they are not migrants, these are felons illegally crossing into our sovereign nation. They do not deserve to be here. They have to earn the right to come here, not demand it.
 
Kyle said:
Are they supporting? I thought he was a lib
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No, he’s pretty neocon. Says a lot of the right things but supports.gov solutions sometimes when he shouldn’t.
Was better than average during Covid, but that isn’t a high bar.
 
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