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Why did Hellen Keller masturbate with one hand
So she could moan with the other
 
What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead :mr-t: in the road?

Skid marks leading to the dog...:flipoff2:
 
How do you keep a :mr-t: from drowning?

Take your foot off his head.





How do you keep :mr-t: out of your back yard?


Hang a :mr-t: out front.



Okay, I'm done with the racist jokes.
 
Add said:
How do you starve a black man?


Hide his food stamps under his work boots
Click to expand...

Due to covid 19 this has been extended to include white people on unemployment getting an extra $600.


why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 ate 9.
 
What's the difference between a black man and a tire?


A tire doesn't sing amazing grace when you put chains on it
 
Why does a potato rub it's eyes in the morning?

Because it doesn't have a butt.
 
YotaAtieToo said:
Black guy, Mexican guy and a white guy find a lamp.

They run it and a genie pops out. "normally I grant 3 wishes, but there is 3 of you, so you each get 1"

Black guy says "I wish all my black brothers and sisters would return to our mother land and live happily and peacefully"

The genie grants the wish and the black guy disappears.

The Mexican says "I also wish that all my Latin brothers and sisters would return to their home lands and live happily and peacefully"

The genie grants the wish and the Mexican guy disappears then turns to the lone white man and asks what his wish will be.

The white man asks "So all the n*ggers and spicks are gone from America?"

"I'll have a beer"

:flipoff2:
Click to expand...

In Boondock Saints he has a coke.

how do you kill a blonde?
play 20 questions with spikes on her shoulders.
 
Gordan Ramsey: do you need me to bring Hitler back to life so he can show you how to use a fucking oven
 
Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?" Sarah says, "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Sarah, that's a mouthful." Sarah says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
 
A man walks Into a bar with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks for their orders. The man says, “A hamburger, fries and a beer,” and turns to the ostrich, “What’s yours?” “I’ll have the same,” says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order. “That will be $18.95 please,” and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, “A hamburger, fries, and a beer.” The ostrich says, “I’ll have the same.”

Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until, the two enter again.

“The usual?” asks the waitress. “No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato, and a shot of Tequila,” says the man. “Same,” says the ostrich. Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, “That will be $20.” Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress can’t hold back her curiosity any longer. “Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?”

“Well,” says the man, “several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.”

Awesome says the waitress. “Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you’ll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!”

“That’s right. Whether it’s a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,” says the man.

The waitress asks, “But, sir, what’s with the ostrich?” The man sighs, pauses, and answers, “My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say.”
 
A man was having premature ejaculation problems so he went to the doctor. The doctor said, "When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself." That same day the man went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol and ran home to his wife. That night the two were having sex and found themselves in the 69 position. The man felt the urge to ejaculate and fired the starter pistol. The next day he went back to the doctor who asked how it went. The man answered, "Not well. When I fired the pistol, my wife pooped on my face, bit three inches off my penis, and my neighbor came out of the closet with his hands in the air."
 
why did the 2 blondes climb the chain link fence?







to see what was on the other side....

:grinpimp:
 
Dylan was practicing his golf swing in his front yard when he swung a little too hard and sent the ball through his neighbors window. Dylan ran over and rang the doorbell three times. After no one answered for a few minutes, he opened the door to see broken glass everywhere, a lamp lying on the ground, and a huge fat Arabian man wearing a turban sitting on the couch. Dylan asked, "Who are you?" The fat man replied, "I am a genie you have freed from that lamp." Dylan questioned, "Oh man, do I get three wishes?" The genie replied, "Since you freed me by accident you only get two and I get one." Dylan thought about it and realized what he wanted, "I want to be the best golfer ever." The surprised genie said, "You sure? Most people wish for money, but okay. Now your wife gets one wish." Dylan brought over his wife who wished right away, "I want a million dollars every week of my life." The genie said, "Granted. And now for my wish, I have been cramped up in that lamp for many years so its been a while since I've been with a woman. I want one day of wild, crazy sex with your wife, Dylan." Dylan said, "No way!" The genie replied, "Not even for a million dollars a week?" Dylan turned to his wife, who said, "I guess for all that, I should. Well, not until Dylan leaves." Dylan said, "Okay, have fun, I guess," and left. Dylan's wife then proceeded to have wild sex for the rest of the day with the genie. When they were finished, the genie asked how old her husband was. She said, "Forty-five." The Genie laughed and said, "Isn't he a little old to be believing in genies?"
 
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