What's new
By:
Filters

Online job interview, tips?

Mr Stubs

Mr Stubs

Taste my rainbow, bitches
Joined
May 19, 2020
Member Number
101
Messages
2,032
Loc
Land of liquid sunshine
It’s been awhile since I have interviewed for a job so of course I’m a bit stressed over that. I have been studying and working on the normal stuff for the past few weeks..,

But it sounds like I have a online interview? WTF??

Tips, tricks, cheats? Who has some real world intel on this?
 
Yeah, don't fap. I think that might be frowned upon. But these days, who knows?


Ok, seriously, business time. Consider your background. No, this is not the time to show off anything in your house that you think is cool. No deer mount in the background, no fancy bullshit, no confederate flag, please. Just something boring. You don't want them distracted by anything behind you. So you could do the easiest thing and have nothing but a plain boring wall behind you. Another option is to do what most of the pricks on tv do these days, and intentionally have books behind them. Because if you have books, then maybe you are smart? I don't know. Maybe it's like wearing a NASA shirt yet not knowing what NASA stands for? Whatever. If you decide to go with books, flip that Anarchist Cookbook around first, because that would likely be frowned upon as well. I joke, but the point is to flip around all books about guns, like Cartridges of the World, etc. Just play it safe and having a boring, empty wall behind you.

And pants. Wear pants. You never know if an earthquake hits or a fire or anything that makes you stand up. You don't want them to see your 6 year old underwear with holes in it.
 
Have a copy of your resume and a copy of the job description printed out in front of you. Read both several times just before the interview.

Have a few questions ready, something organizational and something positional.

Put on pants.

Test your mic sensitivity camera angle/view prior so you know where the sweet spots are.
 
ThePanzerFuhrer said:
I disagree he should answer the questions in the form of a meme!! :flipoff2:
Click to expand...

I'd hire anyone that does that. As long as they're good memes. They can't be "boomer just got an internet connection and doesn't know what they're doing" type memes.
 
arse_sidewards said:
I'd hire anyone that does that. As long as they're good memes. They can't be "boomer just got an internet connection and doesn't know what they're doing" type memes.
Click to expand...

The only issue I see is that once the precedent was set. You would have to continue to provide entertaining memes throughout your duration of employment lol.
 
1. Look at the camera when you speak.
2. A second monitor is nice to have to keep any reference material on it so that you don't have to minimize your meeting.
3. Physical notes. Prop them up behind where your camera is so that you minimize looking away from the camera.
4. Have notes down and in front of you. When the interviewer is speaking you can look down deliberately and review your notes (briefly). Have the view of the camera wide enough so that they can see you appear to be taking notes. Don't do this when answering questions. It blows the entire bluff.
5. Have good questions and listen. The interviewer will tell you what their problems are. Give your experience as solutions to those problems without saying "Hey look at me. I just repeated your problem in the form of a solution."
 
arse_sidewards said:
I'd hire anyone that does that. As long as they're good memes. They can't be "boomer just got an internet connection and doesn't know what they're doing" type memes.
Click to expand...

I just helped my son get his real first job. They low balled him bad on his initial offer letter. I helped him craft an email turning down the low ball offer explaining why he's worth his counter offer. I had him end his email to the VP with;

"Sir, you owe me a keyboard after reading your initial offer letter."

They topped his counter offer and he started yesterday.
 
rugger said:
1. Look at the camera when you speak.
2. A second monitor is nice to have to keep any reference material on it so that you don't have to minimize your meeting.
3. Physical notes. Prop them up behind where your camera is so that you minimize looking away from the camera.
4. Have notes down and in front of you. When the interviewer is speaking you can look down deliberately and review your notes (briefly). Have the view of the camera wide enough so that they can see you appear to be taking notes. Don't do this when answering questions. It blows the entire bluff.
5. Have good questions and listen. The interviewer will tell you what their problems are. Give your experience as solutions to those problems without saying "Hey look at me. I just repeated your problem in the form of a solution."
Click to expand...

^ great advice. We did zoom interviews for an elementary principal position. Aside from what rugger said, also do a practice run with someone you trust so they can tell you if you are the correct distance from the monitor, and if anything in your background is distracting.
If you have dogs or family, send them away for the time you are having your interview. Nothing is more annoying than a dog or kid suddenly interrupting.
 
Yota Up said:
Yeah, don't fap. I think that might be frowned upon. But these days, who knows?


Ok, seriously, business time. Consider your background. No, this is not the time to show off anything in your house that you think is cool. No deer mount in the background, no fancy bullshit, no confederate flag, please. Just something boring. You don't want them distracted by anything behind you. So you could do the easiest thing and have nothing but a plain boring wall behind you. Another option is to do what most of the pricks on tv do these days, and intentionally have books behind them. Because if you have books, then maybe you are smart? I don't know. Maybe it's like wearing a NASA shirt yet not knowing what NASA stands for? Whatever. If you decide to go with books, flip that Anarchist Cookbook around first, because that would likely be frowned upon as well. I joke, but the point is to flip around all books about guns, like Cartridges of the World, etc. Just play it safe and having a boring, empty wall behind you.

And pants. Wear pants. You never know if an earthquake hits or a fire or anything that makes you stand up. You don't want them to see your 6 year old underwear with holes in it.
Click to expand...

This is true.

I love being the thorn in our local representatives' sides and now attend virtual council and commission meetings often. I kept my background simple (and it would work perfectly for any interview): Just my framed college degrees on the wall behind me. Before much longer, I will add my woman's to the collection up there. Just shows them they aren't dealing with a backwoods, uneducated idiot, but that a scholar and a gentleman has moved into their little town (no, I couldn't say that with a straight face, either).:flipoff2:

Anyway, that could possibly be the best background... a wall with your educational certificates and any professional awards you have earned, all nicely framed and looking like they have been there forever (not staged for the camera, so arrange them on the wall the way they look best in the room, not in the camera's frame).
 
hqdefault.jpg
 
I always find out about the organization. Last interview I went on turns out the opening was because a guy had shot himself in one of the offices after he barricaded himself inside. So yeah that was good to know.

I always ask them questions basically about shit I won’t tolerate. I’ve only bombed one interview. I showed up in a cast and it was a hands on job.
 
Install the app and test it with a friend a day or two before. Being late because you couldn't get the app to work is akin to being late and blaming traffic - its your fault. Test a few different cameras, backdrops, lights, etc. There are some great youtube videos on this. Some really basic stuff you already have can make a huge difference. Also check the audio options - built in mic vs bluetooth vs etc. No one questions wearing a BT headset in videos as long as the audio is good. If they can understand you it doesnt matter how good you are

If you have kids/others in the house lock them out and I would tell them no streaming (dont want to suck up the bandwidth). If you have a mechanical keyboard (loud) either find a headset that you can't hear it or put all your notes on paper.

Right now all the major solutions are offering free trials or versions, makes it much easier. Also most have incorporated virtual backgrounds which can make it easier.
 
I'm going to say find a plain wall, not a virtual background. Some of these solutions the virtual background is annoying and start cutting off pieces of you. No munching on your snacks during the interview (had a phone interview and I swear the guy was eating his lunch).
 
Mr Stubs said:
It’s been awhile since I have interviewed for a job so of course I’m a bit stressed over that. I have been studying and working on the normal stuff for the past few weeks..,

But it sounds like I have a online interview? WTF??

Tips, tricks, cheats? Who has some real world intel on this?
Click to expand...

If you're good enough, tell them to fuck off.

Everything else after that is easy.


Like every other Interview you've been in, don't sound hungry, if you can manage it. You're not a noob.
 
Last edited:
At the very end of the interview, when they ask you if you have any questions, ask this:

"Whether I or someone else gets this job, after a year of working at your company, what would the perfect employee look like? What traits do they have and what will they have accomplished?"

Essentially, you are getting them to describe the perfect employee WHILE THEY ARE LOOKING AT YOU.

Its a subliminal projection trick. While telling you what a perfect employee looks like, while staring at your face, they will project that stuff on to you in their own heads. People make up shit and false assumptions in their heads all the time. They will see you as that person, and then "remember" you as that person when they make the decision on who to hire.

Trust me on this. I formally trained in communications.
 
Kurtuleas said:
At the very end of the interview, when they ask you if you have any questions, ask this:

"Whether I or someone else gets this job, after a year of working at your company, what would the perfect employee look like? What traits do they have and what will they have accomplished?"

Essentially, you are getting them to describe the perfect employee WHILE THEY ARE LOOKING AT YOU.

Its a subliminal projection trick. While telling you what a perfect employee looks like, while staring at your face, they will project that stuff on to you in their own heads. People make up shit and false assumptions in their heads all the time. They will see you as that person, and then "remember" you as that person when they make the decision on who to hire.

Trust me on this. I formally trained in communications.
Click to expand...

That's brilliant.
 
Heres another.

Right when you log into to program and your face pops up on the screen. You NEED to be smiling. Not with some fake smile like everyone else, but a real, genuine, crinkled-eye smile.

People's subconscious makes instant snap judgements of people, and then their minds cherry pick shit to prove those judgements to themselves.

One thing I do sometimes before I speak in public, is right before I speak, I watch stand up comedy on youtube for a few minutes to get myself laughing and get into the right mindset. If you do that, that genuine smile comes much easier and the butterflies will settle down becuase you are in a humourous mood.

Also, right when it starts, while smiling, show your palms. Give them a wave, not a stupid fawkin Forrest Gump wave, just lift your right hand and show them that palm. Then when you are talking on camera, lean back a little and keep showimg your palms occasionally while speaking.

You dont want to lean forward into the camera and fill the entire frame with your face, you will look too menacing.
 
Stalk the interviewers on Facebook and LinkedIn.

Watch some TV news and financial channels and get the titles to the books from interviews they have on the shelf behind them. go to library and get same books.

Feed the dog and cat and take them out for a dump before the interview.
 
Kurtuleas said:
Heres another.

Right when you log into to program and your face pops up on the screen. You NEED to be smiling. Not with some fake smile like everyone else, but a real, genuine, crinkled-eye smile.

People's subconscious makes instant snap judgements of people, and then their minds cherry pick shit to prove those judgements to themselves.

One thing I do sometimes before I speak in public, is right before I speak, I watch stand up comedy on youtube for a few minutes to get myself laughing and get into the right mindset. If you do that, that genuine smile comes much easier and the butterflies will settle down becuase you are in a humourous mood.

Also, right when it starts, while smiling, show your palms. Give them a wave, not a stupid fawkin Forrest Gump wave, just lift your right hand and show them that palm. Then when you are talking on camera, lean back a little and keep showimg your palms occasionally while speaking.

You dont want to lean forward into the camera and fill the entire frame with your face, you will look too menacing.
Click to expand...

WTF? Are you running for some bullshit backwater office?

This is total fellatio, narcissistic crap.
 
Icono said:
WTF? Are you running for some bullshit backwater office?

This is total fellatio, narcissistic crap.
Click to expand...

This.

If the interviewers aren't fuckwits (in which case you probably don't wanna work for them) or it's not a sales job none of that shit will matter. Where I work there's a defined interview process that everyone follows. We don't really have a way to "win" the face to face interview process. You can only really lose. If you're being called in for an interview it means you've made the shortlist and we're checking to make sure you can behave professionally enough and not be an asshole the one time it counts in order to stay on the shortlist. Decisions between the candidates who didn't fail the interview are based on your work history and skills. Being likeable won't hurt you but it won't make up for someone else in the process who has something on their resume that you don't.

People try and come up with all sorts of strategies they think they can blindly follow to fake being likeable but if you're not an asshole to begin with it's a whole lot of work for marginal gain.
 
Kurtuleas said:
At the very end of the interview, when they ask you if you have any questions, ask this:

"Whether I or someone else gets this job, after a year of working at your company, what would the perfect employee look like? What traits do they have and what will they have accomplished?"

Essentially, you are getting them to describe the perfect employee WHILE THEY ARE LOOKING AT YOU.

Its a subliminal projection trick. While telling you what a perfect employee looks like, while staring at your face, they will project that stuff on to you in their own heads. People make up shit and false assumptions in their heads all the time. They will see you as that person, and then "remember" you as that person when they make the decision on who to hire.

Trust me on this. I formally trained in communications.
Click to expand...


Sage advice, right there. Nice one Kurt! :smokin:
 
Be natural...talk to them like equals, not like you're their bitch. A flowing conversation is way better than question/answer period. Be enthusiastic about the shit you're saying too, don't just recite the lines (BE NATURAL).

Virtual? Make a joke about the drive to the interview being so difficult and the weather outside was terrible, corporate bitches love that stuff.
 
Icono said:
WTF? Are you running for some bullshit backwater office?

This is total fellatio, narcissistic crap.
Click to expand...

Believe what you want. But people make snap judgements all the time based on body language.

If you have a field of candidates for a position, all with similar qualifications, I would wager that you are going with the one that you just have the best "gut" feeling with.

And if you disagree that having a genuine smile does not win people over and make them more open to you, you are clueless.
 
  • Like
Reactions: IGT
I gotta say..laugh. I got one job because I laughed and was at ease during the interview. They literally told me that after getting the job. If you are at ease it shows.
Also, you might want to let them know that you expect half the year in vacation time to spend at sand hollow like you do now!:flipoff2:
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Back Refresh