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A guy is sitting at the doctor's office. The doctor walks in and says, "I have some bad news. I'm afraid you're going to have to stop masturbating." "I don't understand, doc," the patient says. "Why?" "Because," the doctor says. "I'm trying to examine you."
 
Doctors calls his patient and says: "I have some good news and some bad news".

Patient: "What's the good news"?

Doctor: "You have one week to live".

Patient: "WTF, what's the bad news"?

Doctor: "I tried to call you last week".
 
Two deer walk out of a gay bar, one turns to the other and says ‘I can’t believe I blew 2 bucks in there’
 
What's the worst part of breaking up with a Japanese girl?
You have to drop the bomb on her twice before she gets the message.

What's the definition of relative humidity?
The sweat that builds up on someone's balls while they're fucking their sister.
 
What's the difference between a woman and a computer?

I only have to punch information into a computer once
 
planefixer said:
What's the definition of relative humidity?
The sweat that builds up on someone's balls while they're fucking their sister.
Click to expand...

It's when the sweat drips off your balls and lands on your aunt's chin.


How about "incompletely"

When the front of my balls touch the back of your balls its incompletely.
 
My uncle is a magician. He was walking down the sidewalk and turned into a drug store.
 
Three little old ladies were sitting on a park bench having a discussion when a flasher ran up in front of them and whipped open his trench coat...

The first old lady had a stroke...

The second old lady had a stroke...

The third couldn't... her arms weren't quite long enough! :laughing: :lmao:


:flipoff2::flipoff2::flipoff2:
 
A family was driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumped against the windshield. Embarrassed, and to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry, dear. That was just an insect." "Wow," the boy replies. "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"
 
Three blonds walked into a bar, you would think one of them would have seen it! ba dum tiss..........
 
Black guy, Mexican guy and a white guy find a lamp.

They run it and a genie pops out. "normally I grant 3 wishes, but there is 3 of you, so you each get 1"

Black guy says "I wish all my black brothers and sisters would return to our mother land and live happily and peacefully"

The genie grants the wish and the black guy disappears.

The Mexican says "I also wish that all my Latin brothers and sisters would return to their home lands and live happily and peacefully"

The genie grants the wish and the Mexican guy disappears then turns to the lone white man and asks what his wish will be.

The white man asks "So all the n*ggers and spicks are gone from America?"

"I'll have a beer"

:flipoff2:
 
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