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Do you have friends that will help?

Slander said:
One of my goals here is to expand my friend base now that I'm kind of starting over in a new state.
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Good luck... I've made zero progress on that front in the 17 months I've lived up here. 'Rona put a damper on that, I'm sure, but I generally have little interest in going out and doing anything when I have so much to do around the property.
 
DRTDEVL said:
Good luck... I've made zero progress on that front in the 17 months I've lived up here. 'Rona put a damper on that, I'm sure, but I generally have little interest in going out and doing anything when I have so much to do around the property.
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People aren't full retard about COVID here so that should help. Plus there are a lot more people that share similar hobbies as me than in the shitcago/midwest area.
 
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I move every year or more. I still have a ton of friends and know for a fact most everyone would give me their shirt off their back if I needed one. I try to reciprocate as much as possible and help where I can.

2 weekends ago I broke the engine in my truck while towing the buggy to an offroad park. I had a pick up truck lined up to take my vehicles back to my home, fuel paid for and when I arrived another friend had a loaner truck for me to drive during the down time to fix my vehicle. Another friend reached out as soon as he found out and gave me a used engine he had laying around.

Of course, next weekend I'll be at my friend who loaned me a truck to drop it back off and do some fabrication on his buggy. In a couple weekends I'll be at my friends who gave me the engine to put gears in his buggy.

Couldn't ask for a better group of people. Met them all on the trail and off of PBB/HardlineCrawlers/NC4x4 forums. The offroad community is amazing.

BTW, I met them all in a 5 year time period (I moved to the US in 2015) and my friend circle is still growing. They all live 3+ hours away. The drive is worth it, they deserve my time.

Making friends is an active effort and you have to go out of your way to do so. But I promise, it's worth it.
 
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Bebop said:
I move every year or more. I still have a ton of friends and know for a fact most everyone would give me their shirt off their back if I needed one. I try to reciprocate as much as possible and help where I can.

2 weekends ago I broke the engine in my truck while towing the buggy to an offroad park. I had a pick up truck lined up to take my vehicles back to my home, fuel paid for and when I arrived another friend had a loaner truck for me to drive during the down time to fix my vehicle. Another friend reached out as soon as he found out and gave me a used engine he had laying around.

Of course, next weekend I'll be at my friend who loaned me a truck to drop it back off and do some fabrication on his buggy. In a couple weekends I'll be at my friends who gave me the engine to put gears in his buggy.

Couldn't ask for a better group of people. Met them all on the trail and off of PBB/HardlineCrawlers/NC4x4 forums. The offroad community is amazing.

BTW, I met them all in a 5 year time period (I moved to the US in 2015) and my friend circle is still growing. They all live 3+ hours away. The drive is worth it, they deserve my time.

Making friends is an active effort and you have to go out of your way to do so. But I promise, it's worth it.
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You may move every year, but you aren't moving 1500 miles at a time.

I think what a lot of us have as an additional issue is our families. I moved with a partner and a toddler 1500 miles away. I work from home, so there's no social circle there, and my toddler is my social time.
 
[486 said:
;n166348]

Where are you from?

just that sw mn is kinda like bumfuck kansas, nothing but drinking and meth
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All over.

Born in Long Beach, CA. Moved to Middle Tennessee in the 8th grade. Traveled the world with the Army from 17 to 37. Retired in El Paso. Did the oilfield in ND for a year, then back to El Paso. Got divorced, fled the psycho in El Paso and hid in Las Cruces, NM for a couple years before moving here last year.

Moved here for family reasons; Mom in St Paul, Sister in Cottage Grove, and most of my fiance's family is in Watertown, SD.

And its SE MN, not SW.
 
for whatever reason I was thinking it was over by montevideo

SE is neat, they got some hills at least
 
Broncokyle88 said:
A big part of it is programming at this point. Changing shit is counter productive. I figured out a long time ago how to work efficiently by myself. Adding a second person a lot of the time just slows shit down, because I’m not sure how they work and can’t anticipate what their next move is going to be
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I run into that, have various friends who would help if asked, but most (all but 3-4) would be an extra pair of hands, they just dont have the knowledge to see where its going and I dont have the time to teach them while still doing the project on time.


Aaron Z
 
Possum said:
I know at least a half dozen people who would show up and help with anything from evidence disposal to moving shit at the drop of the hat. I won’t ask for help though, then they find out that I did the job alone and yell at me for not calling them. Any time I find out they need help I’m there tools in hand whether they ask me or not.
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I have a neighbor like that, wont ask for help but is always happy to lend a hand. I help him whenever I can.

Aaron Z
 
DRTDEVL said:
You may move every year, but you aren't moving 1500 miles at a time.

I think what a lot of us have as an additional issue is our families. I moved with a partner and a toddler 1500 miles away. I work from home, so there's no social circle there, and my toddler is my social time.
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I have no family. Nor the desire to get closer to the existing one. Definitely helping there.

I was just trying to say that you can make firends and it's an active process of going out of your way to meet new people. They just don't show up like that.
 
I heard a story once about a girl who came from a middle class family. When she was little, a new family moved in next door, and they were poor. The girls mother would make a point to go to the new neighbors to ask for a cup of flour, or sugar, or some silly little thing.
When the girl asked her mom why she went to the poor family to borrow flour, when they had plenty at the house, the mom said, "When they see me asking for favors, it makes it easier for them to ask for help when they need it. Even if it's just a little thing."

I don't have many friends, but I ask for small things from my neighbors, and we help each other out when needed. We get shit done. I like being the "He can fix it" guy.
I have 3 friends who live further away than I would like, but they would drop everything to be on a plane to help me if I asked for it.
 
My best friend lives in Canada. He called me after ther hurricane a couple years ago and said "you need help?" I said "I could use some". He drove 1500 miles in two days. He was a gigantic help. My local friends would probably help, but they are all useless. Nobody knows how to do anything anymore. They all ask me.
 
I got tired of having "friends" that kept asking me for shit because I never really ask for anything myself.

Now I pick friends that dont ask me for shit, and keep a balanced friendship.
 
I have a few friends that will help with whatever I need. I'm really particular though, so they usually help with the caveat that they "might fuck up." On the flip side when I help them, they are usually telling me "It's good enough. Quit fucking with it." I just moved and only had one guy show up which surprised me.

A couple of things I had to reconsider. I have a few friends who are high risk for Covid. I am getting older and moving sucks. We had to move out during the week instead of the weekend. After review, I was lucky to get anyone.

One of the things my friends do really well is share tools. Between about 5 or 6 guys, I think we could build a new town out of bare earth with our combined resources.
 
DRTDEVL said:
Good luck... I've made zero progress on that front in the 17 months I've lived up here. 'Rona put a damper on that, I'm sure, but I generally have little interest in going out and doing anything when I have so much to do around the property.
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Thats my main problem, If I have any "free time" I have about 100,000 projects that I need to attend to before even considering going and doing something "fun" At least I generally enjoy working on projects though so I guess that is my "fun"

Also when I was in 2nd grade my folks moved me to a neighboring school where all the high class people were going. My sister was getting bullied by the mexicans something fierce at the local school, so that was the main reason for the move. I never really fit in there with the high class town people. I have a few close friends from there, but like I said all of them moved far away after graduation. If I had stayed at the local school I would have been around more farm kids that stuck around after graduation.
 
If I can't complete the project alone I won't start it. I do pretty much every personal project myself because if I have help the project will progress quicker than my paycheck can fund it. I for sure have friends that would help but I am just too damn stubborn.

99% of the time i'll stop whatever i'm working on to help someone else. Mostly because my projects are lame and they have something more fun going on. Stupid house project or help a friend fab something on their offroad truck or drag car? Hmm tough decision. No wonder I don't get shit done around the house.
 
You lose your friends in 3rds, 1/3 when you get out of high school, 1/3 when you get married and the last bastards when you have kids......
 
I call, they come.
They all know the costs of my helping them, and if we're frank, I'm the most useful member of our group.

but I don't like lifting heavy shit, so I have friends for that.
none of them know how to fix a fucking thing, and I fix all things, so it's a fair trade.
 
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I have maybe a small handful of people who will ACTUALLY help and a large list of people who will tell me they can help until I need them to help at which point it has to be when they can make it over to help. I'm realizing more and more how guys know how to work with wood, metal, figure out car problems, complete home repairs and raise kids. They might have had a few websites to ask/read on and eventually they attempted to do it themselves.

Example: I asked my brother in law Friday night if he could help with motor mounts. Saturday we're at a family event and my father in law mentions going shooting. Brother in law doesn't say a word to me. Sunday morning after I've finished my Brother in law texts asking if I need help and tells me everyone is going shooting. He bailed on me to go have fun and I finished my project without him.
I have lots of people like the first example and a few like my step dad who will cancel fun or tell others "na can't this weekend. helping out the kid.:
 
I really dislike unsolicited "help". A past friend of mine loved to dictate, problem is he would come up with the most illogical methods and get completely stuck on doing it his way. He would also talk down to you and explain it out as if you hadn't thought of it already :rolleyes: I quit talking to him awhile back for obvious reasons. Other friend knows his shit but is open to other methods, I'm very much the same way.. always learning!
 
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