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[memphis]

Web wheeler
Joined
Jun 6, 2020
Member Number
1867
Messages
750
Curious to know how many friends you actually have that if you asked them for a huge favour they would help you pull it off.

I thought I actually had 4-6 I could rely on but really that’s dropped off to 1-2. The two that remain are people I met from the off roading community 20 years ago.

The funny thing is, the person I’ve known for over 25 years is one of the people I lost. He has always been unreliable but Covid changed something and we really drifted.

I could also just be terrible at maintaining relationships but it’s funny how things change as I age.
 
gunracer1 said:
i remember a friend of mine telling me years ago. that if you had 5 real honest to god count on friends you would be one of the luckiest people in the world. he was right. i have 3 and feel blessed. but it takes a ying to the yang.
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The relationship that is 25 years old, his father told me over a decade ago you’ll only ever have two real friends you can count on. He passed away last August.
 
I have 4 or 5 that I know if I really needed them they'd be there in the drop of a hat. Same for me if they need anything. We don't necessarily see each other that often anymore, but that trust/bond is still there.
 
What's a huge favor?


10-15 that would drive 200 miles and give me $2500 to tow my junk home with no stipulations (made up scenario).

Probably 30 in my phone that would show up and help with menial tasks if I broke both legs.

I'm fortunate enough to have a very large group of close friends, several of wich I met in kindergarten or earlier.
 
I don't know how many true friends I have, I've learned as I've gotten older than most people in my life were just acquaintances, my character flaw has always been valuing people more than I should have.
 
the conservative atheist said:
None. I haven't had friends since high school. And even they were fair weather friends, not people that would be there when it mattered.
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<3
wanna practice some division of labor, if you get what I mean?


ETA: fbi guy; that was a sex joke
plz don't van me, I'm playing by the NWO degen rules
 
I didn’t want to set any hard fast rules on what the favour is because loaning $100 could be a huge favour to the right person

But out of the two I can count on… road trips to get vehicles has been huge. One of them was a 12 hour round trip… he also towed my junk home 5hours after a locker malfunction forcing the front to stick on.

I owe him still… I paid his fuel/food for those trips but it’s still a huge favour
 
Brian468 said:
most people in my life were just acquaintances
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This is what I call a lot of people that others in my shoes would call friends. I consider the 4 close people I have as friends and everyone else is an acquaintance. Additionally, family is family. I treat a lot of my family as close friends even if we aren't real close. It usually comes back around.
 
Lots of acquittances two I would call good friends, one of them took me into his house last year after the fire. Has time after time come running when I had vehicle trouble. I called one time just to tell him something, when his mom answered the phone she wanted to know if he just needed a tool box, the trailer or bring a shovel, shje seem kind of disappointed that all I wanted was to ask him a question
 
Zero.

If it weren't for my boys I would have no help at all. Or anyone to do fun things with.
 
I am lucky from the standpoint of living in one place my entire life with a great family support system.

I can tap into friends for help as well, several i have known since grade school, 2-3 which would drop everything to help. A few more buddies from high school, college and early career days that would back me up as needed. I haven't added as many good friends in the last 20 years because I haven't been able to invest time in relationship development outside of family and career.

3-4 closest friends that I would go to for something really complicated - which is mostly a function of time and resource availability.
 
I honestly don't know any more, I've gained friends and lost friends over the years. Alot of good friends of mine moved away and I only see them once/twice a year. I was humbled when the shop got robbed and realized how blessed I was. But, different people with different backgrounds are willing to do different things.

Friends who would dig a hole/hold the flashlight. 6. True freinds have the hole dug before hand on the neighbors property.
Friends who would pick me up on the side of the road. 10. I've towed dozens of cars off the interstate when people call me, but, only 7-8 would drive more than an hour to pick me and a trailer up.
Friends who go wheeling and are fun to hang out with. 100's of you bastards. :flipoff2:
 
I married my best friend. There are 2 others I've known a long time, but calling a favor? They live states away from me.

And, is that how we measure friendship? By the level of resources including time that they can drop on us in a hurry. My friends and I have something like a friendship bank account - we are always making deposits and withdrawals in the favors we do for each other, but we would not base the entire friendship on a single favor.
 
I've got 6 I could call for anything.
Another 5 or 6 I can call anytime if I need help, whether it's "I need $5000" or "I'm broke down, come help."
Every one of them, I have at some point t dropped what I was doing, said "I gotta go help ____." And taken off. No one is calling if they don't genuinely need the help.

I understand that I'm extraordinarily lucky to have so many close friends. Some are people I've known since elementary, some I met after high school.


And none of us keep score. Whatever it is, no worries, it'll come around.
 
NakedJeep said:
I married my best friend. There are 2 others I've known a long time, but calling a favor? They live states away from me.

And, is that how we measure friendship? By the level of resources including time that they can drop on us in a hurry. My friends and I have something like a friendship bank account - we are always making deposits and withdrawals in the favors we do for each other, but we would not base the entire friendship on a single favor.
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I wouldn’t say it’s based on a favour system but let’s say people you could count on if you called. I will say none at the drop of the hat in my case but in those situations I wouldn’t ask anyway.
 
NakedJeep said:
I married my best friend. There are 2 others I've known a long time, but calling a favor? They live states away from me.

And, is that how we measure friendship? By the level of resources including time that they can drop on us in a hurry. My friends and I have something like a friendship bank account - we are always making deposits and withdrawals in the favors we do for each other, but we would not base the entire friendship on a single favor.
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I also married my best friend and included her in my count. I only have one friend outside of my wife who lives within a multi hour drive of me, but that's just how life goes.

I do have a strong local church community that relies on one another, but I would almost consider those relationships more an obligation than a friendship.
 
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