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I quit drinking

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Saw some FB drama between a husband and wife that I'm friends with, last week.
She was on FB asking to borrow random things and tools that I know her husband has. I messaged her and told her she could borrow mine but asked her why her husband doesn't have them. She informed me that he kicked her out. I said I'm sorry and didn't pry and ask any.ore questions.

Well I saw her husband at the softball meeting tonight, as he and I have played together for the last 15 years. He told me he threw he out cus her drinking got out of hand again. It's the 2nd time it's happened and the 2nd time she's done it. I was blown away when he told me as I never knew she had a drinking problem in the past. She hid it well....

I feel bad for their kids (16 and 12). Just goes to show you that alcohol will destroy relationships. I can personally attest to that. I've posted the letter on here that my wife wrote me the night before she kicked me out and we called off our wedding the first time. Makes me sick to my stomach every time I read it
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Sharon knew me while I was still drinking. She saw me on a 4x4 club run with bottled water and was WTF. I explained that I'd quit. After she divorced her first husband I asked her out. She told me she would never have even dated me if I hadn't quit. She's also said that she'd divorce me if I started drinking again.
 
Out of town for work conf this week, had later meeting than rest of the group so ended up at a little draft house for dinner, had a NA Peroni 0.0 with dinner, normally I would have put back a bunch of beers at bar. Felt good and hit the hotel gym before meeting today! A little eye opening how annoying some random drunk business guys can be at a bar..... I was one of them normally.
 
M92PV4U said:
You just never know what your wife might drive you back to drinking.
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While I understand the sentiment the only one that can drive you back to drinking is you. I've had a lot of good, bad and really bad things happen to me since I stopped drinking and there was nothing that having a drink or 50 would have made better.
 
64Trvlr said:
While I understand the sentiment the only one that can drive you back to drinking is you. I've had a lot of good, bad and really bad things happen to me since I stopped drinking and there was nothing that having a drink or 50 would have made better.
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I completely agree....

In the 4.5 years I've been sober, the absolute best AND worst things in my life have happened. Neither caused me to drink....

I came very close with the worst, but I held solid
 
My hardest night yet. Late work dinner out of town with German coworkers, I drank water. Caught a lot of flack and had hard time to turn down going out for after dinner drinks, but headed back to my hotel. Worst urges I've had and I knew going out with them I wouldn't be able to resist. Another day down!
 
64Trvlr said:
While I understand the sentiment the only one that can drive you back to drinking is you. I've had a lot of good, bad and really bad things happen to me since I stopped drinking and there was nothing that having a drink or 50 would have made better.
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One thing I have learned is drinking your problems away does 1 of 2 things: makes you face them drunk/under some influence or makes you face them later.
 
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I feel bad for their kids (16 and 12). Just goes to show you that alcohol will destroy relationships. I can personally attest to that. I've posted the letter on here that my wife wrote me the night before she kicked me out and we called off our wedding the first time. Makes me sick to my stomach every time I read it
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I grew up with an alcoholic father and know how relationships get burnt. I have no contact with him because of his shit all my life, my kids are growing up without knowing him and I am perfectly fine with that.

I know years ago I told my wife if I started down that road she needs to tell me, however that has never happened. Have gotten embarrassingly drunk probably 4 times since we've been married, 12 years this year, and now that I've quit I'm not worried about this at all. And my kids, who haven't said anything, have enjoyed sobriety as well.
 
blackdog82 said:
My hardest night yet. Late work dinner out of town with German coworkers, I drank water. Caught a lot of flack and had hard time to turn down going out for after dinner drinks, but headed back to my hotel. Worst urges I've had and I knew going out with them I wouldn't be able to resist. Another day down!
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Yup, sometimes it's hard with work stuff.

What helped me was to take time before and think about what I was there for. If I was there for work great, have dinner then leave. Even in the beginning of my sobriety I never made excuses or long explanations. All I said was no thanks I don't drink, I'll have water, soda, coffee whatever and leave it at that. If someone got to insistant I'd just leave. My sobriety is way more important to me than sitting there listening to some asshole trying to get me to have a drink with him.

I wish you the best. There's a lot of guys on here that will be happy to help you with problems and questions all you need to do is ask.
 
blackdog82 said:
My hardest night yet. Late work dinner out of town with German coworkers, I drank water. Caught a lot of flack and had hard time to turn down going out for after dinner drinks, but headed back to my hotel. Worst urges I've had and I knew going out with them I wouldn't be able to resist. Another day down!
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It's been 15 years and I still have days where, at the end of them, all I want is a drink. I just know its never gonna be '1 drink' if I start, and I'll still be in the same boat after, so what's the point?
Cameronswmp9 said:
One thing I have learned is drinking your problems away does 1 of 2 things: makes you face them drunk/under some influence or makes you face them later.
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^yup
 
64Trvlr said:
Yup, sometimes it's hard with work stuff.

What helped me was to take time before and think about what I was there for. If I was there for work great, have dinner then leave. Even in the beginning of my sobriety I never made excuses or long explanations. All I said was no thanks I don't drink, I'll have water, soda, coffee whatever and leave it at that. If someone got to insistant I'd just leave. My sobriety is way more important to me than sitting there listening to some asshole trying to get me to have a drink with him.

I wish you the best. There's a lot of guys on here that will be happy to help you with problems and questions all you need to do is ask.
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Thanks! Good input. I work with many cultures that revolve around drinking, luckily not much travel with them, but is going to be a challenge for awhile. Nice to be at 100% in meetings today while I can tell some of them are hurting. Plus I did 90 flights of stairs at hotel for workout this morning!
 
I was working for some German engineers who wanted me to have beers with them at a dinner party and were getting pretty insistent. I told them I was the last guy they want to drink with and there’s a chance we’re all going to jail if I get to drinking. They laughed and said maybe we should just forget about that.
 
M92PV4U said:
I have dreams about drinking about twice a week. Always in odd places or circumstances.
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I used to get them often. Haven't had one in quite a while. I noticed for me, it generally will happen if I decide to have an NA beer, and then go to sleep. I've since quit drinking NA beers, mostly because I relapsed once before on NA beers, and I don't want that to happen again... That, and it honestly doesn't taste good to me anymore. :laughing:
 
I really enjoyed beer, now the smell of it turns my stomach instantly. Am I the only one?

Forget dreaming about it, the thought of alcohol mostly makes me queasy.

It just strikes me the difference between having an na beer, then dreaming about it, to my reaction of almost vomiting when i even get a whiff of it.

I'm still trying to understaan all this.
 
ManKrawler said:
I really enjoyed beer, now the smell of it turns my stomach instantly. Am I the only one?

Forget dreaming about it, the thought of alcohol mostly makes me queasy.

It just strikes me the difference between having an na beer, then dreaming about it, to my reaction of almost vomiting when i even get a whiff of it.

I'm still trying to understaan all this.
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I haven't experienced this with alcohol, but when I used to smoke and chew I thought it was the best smell in the world. Now as a non smoker it's straight up disgusting to me.
 
Cameronswmp9 said:
One thing I have learned is drinking your problems away does 1 of 2 things: makes you face them drunk/under some influence or makes you face them later.
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True but so much more complicated than that. The anxiety of knowing you're living life poorly,the depression from the alcohol cooking your brain,constant health issues and the general lack of enjoyment from anything other than getting smashed.
And of course a lack of empathy that ruins relationships with others.
And in my case about $400 a week I'll never see again.
We are here but a blink of an eye and I fucking wasted a decade of my life circling the drain and pretending it was ok.
No matter though,long story short tragedy started my abuse because I didn't know better or have any support elsewhere. Took almost rock bottom to quit and some time to gain clarity. Takes a good bit of time for your brain to recover.
I don't have anything against people who drink and I'm sure some people are fine with it. Doesn't even really bother me anymore.
Mostly just relieved to be done with that lifestyle and on to more important / satisfying things that I could have cared less about drunk.
 
Poriggity said:
I used to get them often. Haven't had one in quite a while. I noticed for me, it generally will happen if I decide to have an NA beer, and then go to sleep. I've since quit drinking NA beers, mostly because I relapsed once before on NA beers, and I don't want that to happen again... That, and it honestly doesn't taste good to me anymore. :laughing:
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Yeah well I drink n/a beers.:homer: it also seems to happen when I wake up with a headache.
 
SanDiegoCJ said:
I've been drinking "Bubly", mostly because it has no sugar or sweeteners. The local CostCo here started carrying the Kirkland brand of flavored sparkling water and it's pretty good, cheaper too at $10.97/35 pack.
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I drink the lime bubly like it's going out of style. Quit drinking caffinated soda in 2016, alcohol in 2018, coffee and tea in 2023. I will drink a Sprite or cream soda on occasion. The lime bubly is my go to drink to replace all those other drinks.

I'll have to try the Costco ones. I make it to one every couple of months to stock up on other things, so I will add it to the list.
 
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ManKrawler said:
I really enjoyed beer, now the smell of it turns my stomach instantly. Am I the only one?

Forget dreaming about it, the thought of alcohol mostly makes me queasy.

It just strikes me the difference between having an na beer, then dreaming about it, to my reaction of almost vomiting when i even get a whiff of it.

I'm still trying to understaan all this.
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I'm only 3 weeks in, but the NA beers have worked for me a few times now. Not something I would drink alone at home but helped me feel my old normal out with others and/or blend in.
 
Monday for me marks one month! Definitely longest I've gone in decades.

Things still going ok, this weekend was a little rough, wife and I went to a concert where I certainly would have been double fisting the beer line all night. Was odd with everyone else drinking for sure. I've been having this bored feeling.... keeping super busy with work and exercising more, but I used to kill a lot of time in the winter drinking with buddies and tinkering.

Wasn't feeling quite this way first couple weeks, but last couple have been giving that bored or maybe thought I'm boring or no fun vibe. Makes me "reminisce" about if I was drinking something would be more fun.

Read some of the older posts tonight and sounds like some of you guys beat the same feelings. Wife says I'm more fun sober because she doesn't have to worry about me doing stupid shit or embarrassing her....lol!

My buddies still drinking the same and I've only hung with them for short periods since quitting... they are not the most supportive....and I'm sure I wouldn't have been if roles were flipped.
 
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