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Shitter stall limericks

Here I sit broken hearted
tried to shit, but only farted

Then one day I took a chance

Tried to fart but shit my pants
There once was a man from Peru
who fell asleep in his canoe
While dreaming of Enus
He played with his penis
And woke up with a handful of goo
Here I set wondering if I'll graduate, then I say "fuck it" and start to masturbate.
This isn't a limerick ("sorry" :flipoff2:) but this thread reminded me of something.

About 35 years ago, on a stall wall at Bear Valley ski resort, I read:

Flush twice - it's a long way to L.A. :laughing:
The sky was dark and the moon was blue
Around a corner the shitwagon flew
It hit a bump and a scream was heard
KarlVP got hit by a flying turd

Those who write on shithouse walls,
should roll their shit into little balls,
Those who read these words of wit,
Should have to eat these balls of shit.

My Grandpa is a goldmine for this shit.
There once was a young man from Kent
Whose dick was so long that it bent.
To avoid any trouble he put it in doubled
And instead of coming he went.

Seven wise men with knowledge so fine, created a pussy to their design. First was a butcher, with smart wit, using a knife, he gave it a slit, Second was a carpenter, strong and bold, with a hammer and chisel, he gave it a hole, Third was a tailor, tall and thin, by using red velvet, he lined it within, Fourth was a hunter, short and stout, with a piece of fox fur, he lined it without, Fifth was a fisherman, nasty as hell, threw in a fish and gave it a smell, Sixth was a preacher, whose name was McGee, he touched it and blessed it, and said it could pee, Last was a sailor, dirty little runt, he sucked it and fucked it, and called it a ****.
There once was a lady from France
who hopped on a train by chance
the engineer fucked her
As did the conductor
and the Brakeman got off in his pants
They painted the walls to stop my pen but the shit house poet has struck again 😁
There once was a woman named Alice
who used a dynamite stick for a Phallus
They found her vagina
in North Carolina
The rest of her landed in Dallas.
He who writes upon these walls, rolls his shit in little balls...
he who reads these words of wit, eats these little balls of shit.
Not a true limerick but one of the best I ever encountered was scratched deep into a tile at a tiny little truck stop along a couple state highways.

There once was a trucker with a broken heart
Just ate a handful of speed now his truck won't start
Decided to prove he's a super trucker
Chewed up handful more and pushed the motherfucker
There once was a couple from New Delhi
who went around belly to belly.
One night in a haste
they used library paste
instead of petroleum jelly!

In the Garden of Eden sat Eve and Adam,
Had his hands on the loins of his madam.
He smiled with mirth,
'cause he knew that on Earth,
There were only two nuts, and he had 'em!
There once was a fellow McSweeny
Who spilled some gin on his weenie
Just to be couth
He added vermouth
Then slipped his girlfriend a martini

There once was a man from Bel Air
Who was doing his wife on the stair
But the banister broke
So he doubled his stroke
And finished her off in mid-air

I was struggling to remember the other old go to. There it is
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