I have, what was to me, a funny fire story.
Have a buddy that bought a farm with an old dilapidated barn that was falling down. He had a company that takes them apart come and get what they wanted and they knocked it down, and he is going to burn it. Asks me to come over for extra hands. No problem I says, what could go wrong….
So there’s this old corn crib there, to me it looks like it needs burnt too. But he has a bunch of old junk in there. A telescope, a few old shwinn bikes, other stuff, I don’t know, whatever. Before we lit the barn I told him **** that needs burnt too, no no using it for storage blah blah. Whatever.
This place is on a busy highway just outside of the county seat about 2-3 miles. So basically lit the pile of barn and after a while some embers catch the roof of the corn crib on fire. It’s going and fast. He freaks out, he is usually very mellow. He grabs a garden hose and takes off running over there. The garden hose is nowhere near long enough to reach, and has the end cut off. He was like a dog at the end of his leash. I bust up laughing and am basically useless because he was so (100% unintentionally) hilarious. So his hose is too short. He’s scrambling to get another hose screwed on and hollers at me, “(_STUCKY), CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT!”. I can’t haha. I’m laughing too hard at him, and I’m thinking what the **** are they gonna save? So he gives up on the hose and tries to save the junk in there. Grabs the telescope and launches it out in the driveway. Busted it everywhere. I’m dying laughing. Grabs the bikes and launches them out in the driveway. I’m dying laughing. At some point he got in his truck and drove over there, runs the bikes over. I’m dying laughing.
On the other side of the driveway is a much newer, decent little 2 car garage. Notice the siding is starting to melt so I get on the roof of that with the hose (it reached to there) and start hosing it down. At some point I notice he’s by the road talking to a south Jacksonville cop. We are not in south jacksonville. If anything it’d be county jurisdiction. Turns out people on the highway were calling, but since we hadn’t, they just sent someone to go look. By that time the corn crib is gone. So anyways, he had climbed up on the roof of the garage with me and we are sitting there smoking and hosing down the roof. Neither of us is saying anything, just watching and smoking. He very calmly says “did you call the fire department?” I’m like “no man I’m sorry. I couldn’t because I was laughing so hard.” Long pause. He says “good.”
Nothing was lost except a telescope and a few old bikes haha. And now there is a nice big machine shed there with all his tractors. Much better.
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