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Mrs Drakeslayer leaves me.

Drakeslayer

Drakeslayer

Wet Trail Wheeler
Joined
May 19, 2020
Member Number
257
Messages
186
Loc
Southern Oregon Coast
I posted here a couple years ago about my wife's health issues, to recap; She has Huntington's Disease, Ehlers Danlos syndrome and back issues from Scoliosis. She had a Harrington rod in her spine but in about 2007 we discovered it was broken (probably from trick fucking:flipoff2:) so it was removed to get better imaging to diagnose back pain issues. None of the pain issues have ever been resolved but she has used cognitive behavioral therapy to deal with it.
Huntington's is progressive and fatal but slow acting. Her neurologist has estimated that she will likely live 10 years from onset of symptoms which was 3.5 years ago. I have become a full time caregiver as she cannot do any physical work like laundry, housekeeping, cooking etc.

So enough background. She has wanted to go on individual trips with each of our three adult children before she is unable to travel or enjoy life. After dragging their feet I put my foot down and insisted that the trips take place this year as she is deteriorating slowly, mostly in cognitive functioning. They decided to go to Hawaii with each kid staying for 1 week and overlapping one day so the Mrs. always has a caregiver. All of that is planned and paid for.

This gives me 3 weeks to go wheeling and visit my family in NE Oregon.

I am kind of emotional about it as this is sort of a prerun of what life might be like after she passes. Also it is going to be a crash course for the kids in what taking care of Mrs D. involves should I pass before her. Lots of thoughts and some of them are morbid and a big waste of time as nothing can be done to change what's to come.

Well I guess I'll post pics of my part of the adventure. If she sends pics of her part I'll post those as well.
 
Bad title bro. I thought she ditched you and you're getting divorced and was ready to be a shoulder for you to cry on.

You are doing it right. Have these things happen now as for sure rather than later as maybe.
I wanted to rented a beach house with my dad after he got stage 4, a few delays came up and it never happened and he died. It never happened.

I'm glad you're taking charge and having these go forward. Keep up with being in charge of it.

I'm very sorry to hear about the long term negative here, but I want to say something to you right now that means a lot.
Be thankful. Thank God. You know why? A lot of people lose loved ones unexpectedly. They die in a car crash, they have a stroke, they have a heart attack. Those people never get to say goodbye. They never get a chance to get their affairs in order.

You have been afforded the luxury of foresight. She gets to write letters and talk to everyone. You all get to hug her and let her know how much you love her. That's actually a bonus if you think positive on it like that from that angle.


You are right. This is a trial run for you. In the future, she will be gone forever. I can't imagine being in your shoes and my heart swells thinking about it and I wish I could hug you right now, bro. Your job is to carry on in strength for your kids, to keep her memory and her spirit in the way you live life.

It's a funny thing, when people die that you love. You sometimes take on aspects of them. I feel like I absorbed certain parts of my dad and my mom and my dead friends after they passed. Like a part of them lives in me forever. Your kids will see it, feel it. You'll be their rock. That's your job. And you'll do it well.

We'll always be here for you. If things get rough, post up and we'll talk. You ever need a guy to unload on at 1am, you can call me.
 
Man, I can't imagine. My girlfriend of 18 years has EDS and a bunch of other stuff that has her on disability. Nothing like Huntington's though. She gets around fine but is part of these support groups online for EDS and she talks to people who have worse cases than hers. She has convinced herself that she will be in a wheelchair before it all over with, if he kidney things doesn't get her first. But this puts things in perspective for me.
 
"Whoa, for a minute I thought your wife divorced you. Turns out she's just saying goodbye to her kids so she can die. What a relief."

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DS, I hope I'll man up half as well as you are when time gets short. :beer: I've enjoyed your threads and travels. Thanks for including us.
 
Title got me.

I do hope you each have a good time. Sorry too read why you are going to each.
 
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I skipped to the bottom cause, well, its irate and people post weird shit.

Good for both of you. Enjoy the break, and hope she has fun.
 
Don't forget to take time to do something genuinely and solely for yourself. Taking care of her will be a full time job for a good part of your life and the memories of the fun you have on this trip will be part of what makes that bearable. Have fun, trust your kids to take their share for now and enjoy the small moments going forward. Sorry you are in this situation, best thoughts and prayers for you and family.
 
total newb said:
No shit.

Opened expecting to post fuck dem bitchs
1rst par and i was gona be sorry to hear about
Finished up and its a get after it dude.
Click to expand...
Same here. :laughing:



I got to play that role for a year with mine when she had the boob cancers. I cant imagine it being full time till death do us part. Guess it still could be for me. hell for any of us. lifes funny and cruel but beautiful all at the same time. <play the forest gump song from the ending with the feather fyling away >
 
It is no fun watching someone you love slowly slip away, I went through it in 2022 watching my mom physically become more and more unable to do for herself, to the point I was having to put her to bed and get her out of bed, bath, clothe her, I didn't have to feed her till the last night, when for our evening snack we had butter pecan ice-cream and her hands just couldn't manipulate the spoon. She wanted to sleep in her chair that night, (she did that ocasinally) she kept me up till 4 in the morning talking incoherently finally she went quite I kissed her on the forehead and said "Mom I can take care of myself, if you want to leave go" When I got up at 7:30 she was still breathing but she had no pulse, I kissed her goodbye once again went and poured myself a cup of coffee and she was gone Feb 6, 2023
 
man, godspeed to her and you, prayers and best wishes. My ex wife started going downhill after we divorced, she has scleroderma. Shes not 40 yet but its kicking her ass.

How old is your wife
 
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