Lawn care hypothetical.

[Gbkeith]

Let’s say you’re out weedeating a mile from your truck. It’s a nice sunny morning.

When, SUDDENLY, you’re set upon by three feral hogs coming out of the brush. What do you do?

1. Twirl the weed eater around creating a 369 degree zone of safety.

2. Keep the spinny end of the weed eater pointed towards the swine and back towards your vehicle.

3. Throw your weapon down and attempt to negotiate.

You’ve just put a new roll of trimming string into the weed eater.

 

[Jscwerve]

Well, if I'm out in an area where there might be feral hogs, I would shoot them. I wouldn't go into an area like that without a sidearm at at minimum in the first place.

 

[Sceep]

369 degrees?

4. Shoot them with the gun in my waistband.

I don't know shit from fuck about feral hogs but that's what I'm doing.

 

[M92PV4U]

three feral hogs

Are we talking about Sus scrofa or big women? Either way fucking them to assert your dominance is probably your best bet.

 

[Gbkeith]

Well, if I'm out in an area where there might be feral hogs, I would shoot them. I wouldn't go into an area like that without a sidearm at at minimum in the first place.

But what if it’s Canadian swine and it’s illegal to have a gun? What do you do?

 

[Jscwerve]

Are we talking about Sus scrofa or big women? Either way fucking them to assert your dominance is probably your best bet.

Never mind. Change my answer. Fuck them into submission now wins my vote.

 

[Gbkeith]

But what if it’s Canadian swine and it’s illegal to have a gun? What do you do?

Let’s say you’re an old dude. Do you have time to pop a viagra and wait? This is potentially a life or death situation.

 

[45acp]

Yell and run towards them holding trimmer over your head throttling it. They'll run off.

If one/they charge you, wait until they get relatively close and jump to the side. Hogs are fast in a straight line but can't really turn at full speed.

 

[Steve300xcw]

How much gas is in the weedeater?

 

[ToughBowtieTruck]

First of all why the fuck did you let yourself get a mile away from your safety zone truck?

 

[Gbkeith]

First of all why the fuck did you let yourself get a mile away from your safety zone truck?

Because you had a long way to go and a short time to get there.

 

[Gbkeith]

How much gas is in the weedeater?

It’s electric.

 

[M92PV4U]

Let’s say you’re an old dude. Do you have time to pop a viagra and wait? This is potentially a life or death situation.

What kind of fag doesn't get a boner while operating a weed wacker.

 

[Steve300xcw]

It’s electric.

Yer fucked

 

[Gbkeith]

What kind of fag doesn't get a boner while operating a weed wacker.

An old one.

 

[ToughBowtieTruck]

It’s electric.

So what's the point of helping your self defense now?

 

[Gbkeith]

So what's the point of helping your self defense now?

Freedom.

 

[Captain Call]

Because you had a long way to go and a short time to get there.

So you were heading east. Got it.

 

[Aggie06]

I’d put my foot down on the pedal, never mind them brakes.

 

[BigBurt]

L do you do?

1. Twirl the weed eater around creating a 369 degree zone of safety.

369 damn shawty fine

to the windowwwwsss!
To the walllssss!
Tell the hogs they can suck my balls (BAWLS!)

I’d get low, get low get low.

Edit: if a poll ever needed a bacon option it’s this one

 

[east_beast]

First of all why the fuck did you let yourself get a mile away from your safety zone truck?

You're afraid to get out of the "safety zone" of your truck?

 

[east_beast]

Just run that weadeater at them. They'll run off.

 

[grumpy356]

Where is your dog?

He should have run it off.

 

[Tin Roof]

Are these completely feral hogs or just ones that have fallen on hard times? Is it possible they are just going to ask if you’ll pay them to string trim so they can feed their families?

 

[Gbkeith]

Now let’s say, hypothetically, that your weedeater is actually a mini excavator. And these pigs are actually a bear.

What do you do now? What do you do?

 

[FJC11]

I'll have some of what you're on.

 

[BigBurt]

Now let’s say, hypothetically, that your weedeater is actually a mini excavator. And these pigs are actually a bear.

What do you do now? What do you do?

Hypothetical, I’d spend about 18-30 months collecting parts to mount 5-10 weed eaters that I find on the side of the road to that excavator. I’d be about $10,000 into this and yes I could have just spent $500/day for a brush cutter rental…but something something

 

[Tin Roof]

You have odd sexual fantasies

 

[BillyBronco]

How much are they worth if you half fuck them? Could you trade them half fucked for a jet ski?

 

[Gbkeith]

How much are they worth if you half fuck them? Could you trade them half fucked for a jet ski?

That’s a good question that we should probably delve in to. Surely somebody here knows about half fucked pigs. I’m betting that’s something an Iowegian would know about.