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Hitchhiking stories

Ranch Hand

Ranch Hand

Red Skull Member
Joined
May 19, 2020
Member Number
214
Messages
239
Loc
Texas
I did some whenever I needed to but while going to school about 300 miles from home I'd make it my transportation of choice even though I had a perfectly good ride at school. It was far more safe back then and way more entertaining than driving. Here's one story:

While thumbing through god-awful nowhere, an old beat-up sedan stopped for me. The old driver was pretty beat down looking but his older passenger, with his head leaning on the B-pillar, was much worse. Every twenty miles or so they'd pull off on the side of the road, open the cooler in the trunk and make three proper rum and cokes with lime on ice, "It's not legal to drink and drive." We'd finish them on the road side, pack up and head on. They were going the exact opposite direction they said they were heading but I didn't point that out until I got a hundred miles closer to where I needed to be.
 
i think in high school there was a good bit of hitchin a ride.. (class of 91) ..but there is a difference between that and hitchhiking per say

i have never held my thumb up to perfect strangers on the road

however I have picked up hitchhikers that I talked to a little first.. like at gas stations diners - truck stops, in the middle of no-where.. course only if I had a glock under the seat
 
My wife and I gave someone a ride a few years back. He was walking down the highway with a bag slung over his shoulder.

When he got in I asked him what was in the bag just to make conversation. He answered "its none of your fucking business".

This concerned my wife enough that she also asked him what was in the bag.

He shouted at her "IT'S NONE OF YOUR FUCKIN BUSINESS"!

I pulled over and told the bastard to get out now right now.

When we got home and start unloading the groceries we discovered that he had left the bag in the car.
 
I HATE PONIES said:
My wife and I gave someone a ride a few years back. He was walking down the highway with a bag slung over his shoulder.

When he got in I asked him what was in the bag just to make conversation. He answered "its none of your fucking business".

This concerned my wife enough that she also asked him what was in the bag.

He shouted at her "IT'S NONE OF YOUR FUCKIN BUSINESS"!

I pulled over and told the bastard to get out now right now.

When we got home and start unloading the groceries we discovered that he had left the bag in the car.
Click to expand...

I'm pretty sure you want someone to ask what was in the bag??? so you can reply None of your fuckin business... hahahaha
 
not hitching but still funny> I pull up outside the local pump/mart. Biker guy coming out of the store looks at me smiles say "MAN IHAVEN"T SEEN YOU IN FOR EVER, How you doin? And shakes my hand. He looks kinda familiar, but I just don''t place from where. I say hey sorry man you look failure but I can't place from where?

He look's at me like I just insulted him. Pauses for a longs few seconds and says





"Just messin with you bud!" My battery's dead can you help give my bike push start?
That was funny and I helped push start his bike.
 
I HATE PONIES said:
My wife and I gave someone a ride a few years back. He was walking down the highway with a bag slung over his shoulder.

When he got in I asked him what was in the bag just to make conversation. He answered "its none of your fucking business".

This concerned my wife enough that she also asked him what was in the bag.

He shouted at her "IT'S NONE OF YOUR FUCKIN BUSINESS"!

I pulled over and told the bastard to get out now right now.

When we got home and start unloading the groceries we discovered that he had left the bag in the car.
Click to expand...

What was in the fucking bag?
 
I HATE PONIES said:
My wife and I gave someone a ride a few years back. He was walking down the highway with a bag slung over his shoulder.

When he got in I asked him what was in the bag just to make conversation. He answered "its none of your fucking business".

This concerned my wife enough that she also asked him what was in the bag.

He shouted at her "IT'S NONE OF YOUR FUCKIN BUSINESS"!

I pulled over and told the bastard to get out now right now.

When we got home and start unloading the groceries we discovered that he had left the bag in the car.
Click to expand...

SO what was in the fucking bag? :eek:
 
When I got to Colorado accidentally 40 years ago with no wheels I occasionally had to hitchhike or else walk between towns so the thumb would come out. One night this guy with some old car picks me up. I get in the front seat and we head for the next town which was where I was going, notice something in the back seat and look to see 2 Rottweilers, which I had never seen outside a Damien Omen movie at that point. Uh, yeah man, cool dogs...
 
I have never hitchhiked, but i have picked people up who were back country skiing or snowboarding on hwy 40 in CO and bring them back to the top of the pass. No good stories, but most times they were stoned.
 
I picked up a hitchhiker one time in my Willys pickup, had a dog in the front seat and there is not much room in a Willys PU so told him to ride in the bed which had a rack with a rear crossbar, dude does a leap into the bed, about knocks himself out slamming his head into the crossbar. Hard not to laugh.
 
2Kan-_- said:
not hitching but still funny> I pull up outside the local pump/mart. Biker guy coming out of the store looks at me smiles say "MAN IHAVEN"T SEEN YOU IN FOR EVER, How you doin? And shakes my hand. He looks kinda familiar, but I just don''t place from where. I say hey sorry man you look failure but I can't place from where?

He look's at me like I just insulted him. Pauses for a longs few seconds and says





"Just messin with you bud!" My battery's dead can you help give my bike push start?
That was funny and I helped push start his bike.
Click to expand...

Somewhat of a similar sidetrack:

I was at the landfill dumping a load of garbage and a dude backs in next to me and we strike up a conversation while we are unloading. Just the usual bullshit small talk, when a few minutes in he says, "What year did you say you Mustang was again?" I looked at him a little funny and said, "I don't have a Mustang?" He says, "Oh, I thought you said you had a Mustang, I must have misheard you. I've been looking for an old Mustang to restore for a while".

Funny thing was, I had just passed a rough looking 65' sitting in a guy's front yard with a for sale sign in the window, so I mentioned it to him.

The dude smiles at me and says, "See, works every time. Now I have a car to go look at".

I thought that was pretty slick.
 
brantb said:
I have never hitchhiked, but i have picked people up who were back country skiing or snowboarding on hwy 40 in CO and bring them back to the top of the pass. No good stories, but most times they were stoned.
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Done that on 40 and also on Loveland Pass a bunch, haven't even paid attention to if they were stoned, just standing on the side of the road with ski gear; I've got a pickup bed with room enough for a pile of backcountry skiers.

I've not really ever intentionally hitchiked to go somewhere, but have for a "just need to get to a phone to call somebody to come rescue my broken truck" situation back before cellphones, or "just need to get back to my truck eight miles down this road, I'll walk if I have to, but if I can bum a ride I will".
 
I grew up on an island in Florida. Hitchhiking was my main mode of transportation in the 80s. Mostly locals but sometimes it was tourists. Never once had a problem. Sorry nothing crazy.
 
A cop stopped me on the north edge of a small town and said, "It's illegal to hitchhike in our town, get in!" Shit! I thought, but he just drove me to the south end of town and dropped me off.

I stood on the road for 5 hours on the return trip and NO ONE would stop for me. What the hell I thought? I checked to see if my dick was hanging out or something but nope, nothing different than normal. Finally around 4:30 some construction workers getting off work picked me up. It turns out some hitchhiker murdered a local young lady who picked him up and stole her car just two days earlier. That was a late night getting home.
 
I HATE PONIES said:
My wife and I gave someone a ride a few years back. He was walking down the highway with a bag slung over his shoulder.

When he got in I asked him what was in the bag just to make conversation. He answered "its none of your fucking business".

This concerned my wife enough that she also asked him what was in the bag.

He shouted at her "IT'S NONE OF YOUR FUCKIN BUSINESS"!

I pulled over and told the bastard to get out now right now.

When we got home and start unloading the groceries we discovered that he had left the bag in the car.
Click to expand...

Are you going to tell us its none of our business either? :lmao:
 
Why don't any of these stories start with "You're never going to believe this..." like they always did in the Penthouse Forum? :flipoff2:
 
When I worked for KDot they told us to stop when people were on the side of the road to see if they need help. Only 1 ever wanted a ride. I talked to him a little bit he didnt say where he was going. Just getting out of here is all. Maybe he killed a whole family I dont know. I asked him where he wanted dropped off in town and he just wanted a ride to a place to eat. I offered money for food but hw said he had plenty.
 
I picked up a guy on the on ramp headed out of Ft. Smith. When he got in and told me he was headed to Memphis, I let him know I was stopping in Little Rock. He asked me why I picked him up and that he could be a serial killer. I said those are rare and the odds of two being in the same car were low.
 
Picked up a hitch hiker just south of the mac Bridge about 20 years ago or so. He was a floutist. Real weird fucker. He smoked a couple dubes with us then played his flute along with Metallica that was playing on the radio. My Co worker and i laughed or asses off until the next song came on and he tried playing along to that too. My co worker told him that was plenty:lmao: His fluting was awful

Picked up an old boy once. He stunk so bad i got off the e way and told him this was my exit. He got out and i screamed it back down the ramp to get on the e way again:laughing:Buh. Bye.
 
So way back around 84 I was sent on a mission to get a bag of dope for my brother. So myself and two of my high school buddies said no problem and drove to get it, about 45 minutes away. Well after we got the bag we were heading back and ended up blowing the motor in the car from overheating. I guess it didn't help that I drove home drunk just a couple of nights before and played smash up derby with the construction triangle things and blew a hole in the radiator. So we ended just leaving the car and started walking. Well much to our surprise the only town cop stopped and asked us what happened, we told him. Then he told us to get in the back seat and he would take us to the other end of town and drop us off at the gas station and then we could call someone to pick us up. So here are three scared to fuck teenagers (I think 17) sitting in the back of a cop car and he is transporting half a gallon ziploc of weed with us.

He dropped us off and then he turned around and went back to patrolling. Called my brother to come get us. Had the car towed home the next day.
 
Picked up a kid outside of Yosemite on my way from Vegas to Angels Camp. Said he was a biology student and was out doing field work and didn't have a car always hitched, this about 1998 or so. I was surprised to see him with his thumb out, figured he might have had car trouble, seemed nice enough so gave him a ride back to the village.

My Dad would give service members rides if they were in uniform back in the 60's and 70's.
 
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