I saw a water truck open up the side spray on some guy on the road a couple months back, fawking epic
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Hillbilly ****
- Thread starter Tin Roof
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I saw a water truck open up the side spray on some guy on the road a couple months back, fawking epic
I saw a water truck open up the side spray on some guy on the road a couple months back, fawking epic
OMG, a legit water truck puts out some serious volume.
I'm sure it was well deserved by the recipient.
Bamajeeper
Annoying flesh monkeys!
I once saw an illegal firecracker under a five gallon bucket filled with gasoline.
When the firecracker went boom the earth shook. There was a great noise.
The fire cloud above was incredible in size and all spectators were amazed.
Wonderful things happened that day.
When the firecracker went boom the earth shook. There was a great noise.
The fire cloud above was incredible in size and all spectators were amazed.
Wonderful things happened that day.
So anyway this is a buildup story I suppose. My ex wife's (still married at that time) step sister started working at this no kill animal shelter. When I say no kill, I mean not even mercy killings.
So anyway, there's this downs syndrome cat (picture of down syndrome tiger for reference)
And the step sister decides one evening we're all having dinner to work the ex's empathy and try to convince her to adopt this poor needy kitty. Then the step mom gets in on it. So for the course of about a three hour dinner all I hear about is how we NEED to save this poor kitty. That meows with a lisp, can't feed itself, can get into the litter box, but can't get out, needs constant baths to clean the feces off of it and requires constant care.
I'm getting pissed 1. I am not a cat person 2. We're living in a relatives house until our house could close in 90 days and 3.My ex was pregnant with our son (cat feces can cause toxoplasmosis) and I will have to be the one taking care of this thing that honestly needs a mercy euthanization. Grumpy as ****, I tell them all I'm done hearing about it and we're not getting a cat, let alone that cat. So I'm going home.
So it was early spring and I wanted to pick up my bike so I could start jamming it to work to save fuel money. So I go hop on the bike, go down to the corner and take it for a rip to blow off the steam of 3 hours worth of three women doing everything possible to get under my skin. Turn the corner, hammer first, second, and third, wheel comes down and all I see are reds and blues in the mirror. ****.
So I pull over as my night wasn't going well and I didn't want the consequences of trying to run.
Out steps big Bertha with a badge. Dyke haircut, big girl and I could see in her eyes that I'm that proverbial asshole that she hated because she was made fun of in the past (sportbike, in shape, looking like a **** head) and there's murder in her eyes for stunting in her little Ohio township.
At this point, **** it, I know I'm getting a ticket, maybe impounding my bike as I easily doubled the speed limit before that wheel came down, so she asks me what the **** I think I'm doing.
I start cursing a storm up and down about this down syndrome ****ing cat, pregnant wife, toxoplasmosis, a bitchy mother in law, and ****ty stepsister and the whole **** and shebang. She stops me about 5 minutes into a tirade to take off my helmet and provide ID. Let's me finish the story and proceeds to go run my **** for the longest 15 minutes ever. Where she was probably relating the craziest excuse she'd ever heard, ****ing downs syndrome cat.
So she comes back, hands me my license, and tells me to have a nice evening. I had been the rudest asshole I'd ever been to a cop that night and I got off with a warning. In the end, I guess it's true, you make em laugh and it makes things easier.
Hope you fawkers got a laugh.
So anyway, there's this downs syndrome cat (picture of down syndrome tiger for reference)
And the step sister decides one evening we're all having dinner to work the ex's empathy and try to convince her to adopt this poor needy kitty. Then the step mom gets in on it. So for the course of about a three hour dinner all I hear about is how we NEED to save this poor kitty. That meows with a lisp, can't feed itself, can get into the litter box, but can't get out, needs constant baths to clean the feces off of it and requires constant care.
I'm getting pissed 1. I am not a cat person 2. We're living in a relatives house until our house could close in 90 days and 3.My ex was pregnant with our son (cat feces can cause toxoplasmosis) and I will have to be the one taking care of this thing that honestly needs a mercy euthanization. Grumpy as ****, I tell them all I'm done hearing about it and we're not getting a cat, let alone that cat. So I'm going home.
So it was early spring and I wanted to pick up my bike so I could start jamming it to work to save fuel money. So I go hop on the bike, go down to the corner and take it for a rip to blow off the steam of 3 hours worth of three women doing everything possible to get under my skin. Turn the corner, hammer first, second, and third, wheel comes down and all I see are reds and blues in the mirror. ****.
So I pull over as my night wasn't going well and I didn't want the consequences of trying to run.
Out steps big Bertha with a badge. Dyke haircut, big girl and I could see in her eyes that I'm that proverbial asshole that she hated because she was made fun of in the past (sportbike, in shape, looking like a **** head) and there's murder in her eyes for stunting in her little Ohio township.
At this point, **** it, I know I'm getting a ticket, maybe impounding my bike as I easily doubled the speed limit before that wheel came down, so she asks me what the **** I think I'm doing.
I start cursing a storm up and down about this down syndrome ****ing cat, pregnant wife, toxoplasmosis, a bitchy mother in law, and ****ty stepsister and the whole **** and shebang. She stops me about 5 minutes into a tirade to take off my helmet and provide ID
. Let's me finish the story and proceeds to go run my **** for the longest 15 minutes ever. Where she was probably relating the craziest excuse she'd ever heard, ****ing downs syndrome cat.So she comes back, hands me my license, and tells me to have a nice evening. I had been the rudest asshole I'd ever been to a cop that night and I got off with a warning. In the end, I guess it's true, you make em laugh and it makes things easier.
Hope you fawkers got a laugh.
And fyi 2 quarts of oil and a pumpkin is definitely not what you think it is. Three wheelers and cops involved in that one.
Kriptonite
Bull**** account
26 years or so ago a buddy caught a timber rattler and knew that I tanned snake hides.
Called me up so I went there on my harley. Put that sucker in a cardboard box and taped it shut best we could. Bungee corded the box to the p pad and rode home 20 miles. Euthanized it in a 5 gal bucket using exhaust from a truck. Made a nice belt and a little pocket money out of that deal.
5 or 6 years ago I took my Mexican helper home and saw that he had a good looking goat tied out back.
Ask him what he was gonna do with it he said bbq.
Needless to say it rode home in the front seat of my Prius. Still got it today and it's one of our top producers. (Kids)
I'll not get into the many times that I ran from the law.
Called me up so I went there on my harley. Put that sucker in a cardboard box and taped it shut best we could. Bungee corded the box to the p pad and rode home 20 miles. Euthanized it in a 5 gal bucket using exhaust from a truck. Made a nice belt and a little pocket money out of that deal.
5 or 6 years ago I took my Mexican helper home and saw that he had a good looking goat tied out back.
Ask him what he was gonna do with it he said bbq.
Needless to say it rode home in the front seat of my Prius. Still got it today and it's one of our top producers. (Kids)
I'll not get into the many times that I ran from the law.
I lost it at the picture of the tiger 😂. The story was icing on the cake.
My ex made me go see the cat after it got me out of a ticket. Everything above was accurate. Scratched my daughter within 30 seconds of seeing the damn thing because it would immediately go on the defense as it could not escape anything 😒. F that cat. Poor thing shoulda been put out of its misery. Couldn't even digest food properly.
Kriptonite
Bull**** account
LOL no goat ****ers on this farm.
Well maybe Billy Bob.
Well maybe Billy Bob.
Arps
Well-known member
Back of my buddys ****ty explorer after a road trip last weekend
Couldn't find the flamethrower build... but hillbilly is appropriate~
The Grace Baptist Church from Troy, NY is raffling a flamethrower or a AR-15 for the 38th anniversary on July 4th.
Follow Twatter for more details. The only thing I know is; flamethrowers are legal in NY-
The Grace Baptist Church from Troy, NY is raffling a flamethrower or a AR-15 for the 38th anniversary on July 4th.
Follow Twatter for more details. The only thing I know is; flamethrowers are legal in NY-
