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Lot of respect for you single Dads. I don't know how you guys do it. I told my wife she takes care of kiddo, I'll take care of the rest. And she does just that. I can only imagine how difficult it would be on my own. What's hard for me is that its all about momma. I can get kiddo on the tractor for about 5m before they've had enough. I get pushed away constantly. We go fishing, boat rides, hiking, feeding the animals at the farm down the road, and its all momma. I don't really play a role at all. I barely get a hug. :(

Star Speedway opens next weekend so we're going to take a drive down. really been working on doing more stuff with me, but momma has to be there.
 
It is tough and normal to feel like there is no possible way for it to work. Or that nobody can do it.
Reality is, the more time you spend doing it the easier it is.

I had no problem being a single parent 24/7 Exhausted, but able.

I found it much harder when I didn't have full custody. Only seeing the kids every other weekend. It's like you get used to your single life then you have to be a grown up again. No staying up late and being responsible for just every other weekend. That to me was the most exhausting.

Kids are awesome though. At least mine are. Too bad they are grown up. Wish I could have done more for them but they both say I did great and that they are happy.
 
Dood you'll be fine. You are good people so just don't royally fuck up and you'll raise a kid better than most. Sounds like this path is actually the better one. Learn patience. I still wish I was better at it. Don't cave in to everything he wants. Ditto. One thing I wish I knew before was to look hard at your schools. I knew there were two trailer parks across town. I didn't realize what percentage of kids that put in the elementary school. That will make your job harder.

You will have moments where you wish time would stand still, because you love him so much and you can't imagine anything better. Then it will be. You'll have times you're dead tired and frustrated and think it couldn't be any worse. Well, it might be but its still worth it. Some days he will just seem like a dependent, but the day will come and you'll realize he is now your buddy and partner in crime and fucking everything is more fun to do with him. Then there's no looking back. It's awesome.

There's better advice already in here, so don't mind my rambling. But just by asking you're gonna be a great Dad.
 
woods said:
Lot of respect for you single Dads. I don't know how you guys do it. I told my wife she takes care of kiddo, I'll take care of the rest. And she does just that. I can only imagine how difficult it would be on my own. What's hard for me is that its all about momma. I can get kiddo on the tractor for about 5m before they've had enough. I get pushed away constantly. We go fishing, boat rides, hiking, feeding the animals at the farm down the road, and its all momma. I don't really play a role at all. I barely get a hug. :(

Star Speedway opens next weekend so we're going to take a drive down. really been working on doing more stuff with me, but momma has to be there.
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this happens because mom is there all day everyday. be more active with the kid. have mom leave for an hour and you two play at the house where your kid is familiar. you have to be engaged though.

I;m not a single dad. i don't know what its like, but i'd assume if you're in that position you do whatever it takes to make it work,
 
You will make it work. Get what you need done when you don't have him, and spend the time you can with him when you do have him. Try not to pawn him off on the sitter to much or with the grandparents to much...but when you do that is ok. Life and work still goes on even if your a single parent. Just try and schedule things as best you can .
 
Yota Up said:
My parents were divorced. My mom used to talk trash about my dad. Not cool. My dad didn't do that, and was just being himself and doing good by me all the way.
Be like my dad. He's dead now and I miss him bad. Mom, on the other, well, we don't talk anymore.
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Mostly the inverse of that for me but a bit from both sides. A good chunk of my really early memories are of my divorced parents talking shit about the other and the fights. I'm guessing that the divorce level hatred that grows between two people who were once so happy together that they got married has to be hard to suppress in front of the child but you gotta find a way to do it. It's pretty hard for a younger kid (under 10?) to grasp what's going on and pitting your child against their mother to get back at her, whether you mean to or not, is probably easy to do. I had to deal with it till I was 18 and GTFO of both houses.
 
midwestzj said:
this happens because mom is there all day everyday. be more active with the kid. have mom leave for an hour and you two play at the house where your kid is familiar. you have to be engaged though.

I;m not a single dad. i don't know what its like, but i'd assume if you're in that position you do whatever it takes to make it work,
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I am active, but he pushes me away. I get him in the shop working on the bikes, line up a board with half driven nails so he can ht them, etc. Sometimes he comes around. We'll be 15m in, then where did Momma go? Then its a scramble to get him back to me. It was neat when he was younger because my wife worked on Saturdays. I drive him to the mountains and play by a river. Had him the entire day which was great. Everything being closed up the past four months has really put a damper on things though. FFS, they shut down all the playgrounds.
 
Mine is 11 now
She has it figured out on what is what between the parents

I will point out that there is a DIRECT relation to the effort:reward ratio.

The more you put into it, the more you will get out of it.

Being a parent is scary, was for me anyway
But honestly, its the easiest thing ever, just be there, and do what you say you are going to do.....you will be an instant hero.

I noticed at 18 months, it became really fun, not so much work.

I know guys that put zero into it, and that kid is just a child support payment. Those people are idiots
 
Boss said:
The truth. ...about everything. You'll thank me later.
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I agree. I'm not looking to hide anything and neither is she that I know of. We've been amicable lately.

The kid pulled the can out of the trash. I'm not feeding him beer :rolleyes:
 
TiTRD said:
I agree. I'm not looking to hide anything and neither is she that I know of. We've been amicable lately.

The kid pulled the can out of the trash. I'm not feeding him beer :rolleyes:
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Be very careful about what you tell others, post online where someone else can see it, and how you communicate with your ex. Document everything, even if it's an email stating "per our conversation, I'm picking up the kid at noon on Thursday". Keep communications civil and professional. Think that a Judge may be looking over your communications in the future when you write them. Your relationship with your ex may be good right now, but it might change, and if it does you don't want to have given her any ammo to be used against you. Having a tangible history of your actions can help your case if it comes down to a war between you two. Plan for the worst, hope for the best. CYA. And as others have pointed out, keep your kid out of it. Don't bad mouth mom within earshot. You can have a nice long talk when he turns 18.

my .02. (Single Dad for 7yrs with a nasty, evil ex. She wasn't always this way)
 
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Projectjunkie said:
Those are rookie numbers! :flipoff2:



but seriously, delete that for 15 years for when, not if, she drags you into court
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This is the fucking truth.

When my boy was around 2 I posed him with an empty Coors can in an easy chair, he was tired and looked to be half shitfaced. I snapped the pic when he brought it to his mouth, my ex was standing there with me when we did it and thought it funny as hell.

7 years later she has me in court trying to get custody for the 3rd time when she introduces that same pic as evidence. She told the judge I regularly fed him beer to put him out so I could party.

That can of worms could have lost me that case but I was lucky in that I had a witness that knew of the pic and the circumstances behind it. I still got a major tongue lashing from the judge over it and my ex got a lot worse than that.
 
Teach him all you know, show him how to be independent, teach him to not need a pussy to be happy, teach him to never go full whipped. Not saying that you did that OP, but man women are heartache. That said i love being a dad.
 
Basically, be the best you can, enjoy your boy, enjoy your single life, enjoy the current amicable relationship between you, but be prepared that in 137.3 weeks she meets a guy online and will utilize every dirty **** trick to get custody and move 1700 miles away with your kid, and the corresponding amount of child support.

there's a reason I didn't quote your post, or address it in detail. My learning curve started 451 weeks ago, I'm looking up at 2 Rubbermaid totes marked "legal paperwork":flipoff2:
 
TiTRD said:
Love this area. We actually went to harriman yesterday to watch the boats and play in the rocks.

His mom lives in Greenfield, she grew up in Shelburne.
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Your job in the simplest of terms is;

1. Love him.
2. Protect him and provide for him.
3. Prepare him to become a good person.

I think you have no problem with one and two, and three is an ongoing process.

Good luck.
 
Roc Doc said:
Your job in the simplest of terms is;

1. Love him.
2. Protect him and provide for him.
3. Prepare him to become a good person.

I think you have no problem with one and two, and three is an ongoing process.

Good luck.
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This
 
Roc Doc said:
Your job in the simplest of terms is;

1. Love him.
2. Protect him and provide for him.
3. Prepare him to become a good person.

I think you have no problem with one and two, and three is an ongoing process.

Good luck.
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This is so true, and im in same boat as you with my boy.
 
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