<crossing tampons for gunracer1 off the Christmas shopping list>
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Refusing gifts?
- Thread starter Yota Up
- Start date
grumpy356
bordering on illiterate
- Joined
- May 19, 2020
- Member Number
- 244
- Messages
- 1,165
My issue is THERE ARE ALWAYS STRINGS ATTACHED.
When it comes to family or friend... in my mind, there is no gift, without some form of scorekeeping going on, and an expectation of... something.
And my wife... she sucks at giving gifts ... and in most things, from house work, to gifts, she is keeping score. Although, somehow it seems to be one way.
Also, I am very picky, and I want what I want, and most of the time it's outside of anyone else budget, and there's very little I don't buy for myself, once I decide I need it.
When it comes to family or friend... in my mind, there is no gift, without some form of scorekeeping going on, and an expectation of... something.
And my wife... she sucks at giving gifts ... and in most things, from house work, to gifts, she is keeping score. Although, somehow it seems to be one way.
Also, I am very picky, and I want what I want, and most of the time it's outside of anyone else budget, and there's very little I don't buy for myself, once I decide I need it.
Nobody I've ever given a gift has owed me anything due to that gift.
I've never owed anyone anything due to them giving me a gift.
If they imply otherwise, I immediately offer to give the gift back and will not accept a gift from them ever again; and quite possibly won't ever interact with them again. Fuck manipulative people who think a gift is leverage - fuck 'em to the end of time.
I've never owed anyone anything due to them giving me a gift.
If they imply otherwise, I immediately offer to give the gift back and will not accept a gift from them ever again; and quite possibly won't ever interact with them again. Fuck manipulative people who think a gift is leverage - fuck 'em to the end of time.
Yeah, this sounds like a you problem.My issue is THERE ARE ALWAYS STRINGS ATTACHED.
When it comes to family or friend... in my mind, there is no gift, without some form of scorekeeping going on, and an expectation of... something.
And my wife... she sucks at giving gifts ... and in most things, from house work, to gifts, she is keeping score. Although, somehow it seems to be one way.
Also, I am very picky, and I want what I want, and most of the time it's outside of anyone else budget, and there's very little I don't buy for myself, once I decide I need it.
Sandy Johnson
Harry Member
Nice. We all do a white elephant with the adults. There are some impressive leg-lamp-ish heirlooms that keep getting passed around every year now and it adds to the hilarity. Best one was when I had a friend crash Christmas because his whole family was on the east coast. Just before the white elephant, he snuck off, found a candle holder my mom had in an upstairs spare bedroom, removed the candle, and wrapped that puppy up. The look on my mom's face when she realized it was hers was priceless and it's been passed around the family for 10 years while my mom tries to strategically get it back each time.
This is what I meant when I said "react poorly".
gladman
Aroused by Ta Ta's
- Joined
- Jun 18, 2020
- Member Number
- 2107
- Messages
- 1,018
I refuse them at work. There is one company that brings a case of see's candy at christmas that I allow, everything else we politely refuse. I tell vendors, 'just do a really good job, that is gift enough'
As for gifts from people... jesus, so many thoughtless 'here you go' gifts... once in awhile someone will surprise me with something I really want... but it is rare.
I try to get people really good gifts that they will want, need and mean something... or I don't give anything.
I don't expect anything, but sometimes i think how little thought people put in and it brings disappoint. Better to just not have any of it.
Landslide
Red Skull Member
- Joined
- May 20, 2020
- Member Number
- 422
- Messages
- 1,668
I receive gifts or things given to me from friends but it’s reciprocal on that. I have a couple friends that would get hurt feelings if you didn’t accept a gift from them. There are never any strings attached to gifts I’ve received and I won’t accept it if I suspected anything like that would happen. I give a lot of things to my friends as well and absolutely do not want anything in return accept the hope they enjoy it and can use it or just appreciate it. A gift can be looked at as helping someone out also. It’s under the same context really. I do a ton of that with friends and don’t want anything in return except come help me if they can when I need it.
We’re talking about stuff that’s 101 here honestly and you should have this figured out loooong before this point in your life if you’re worth spit imo.
My one buddy that loves giving things to people as he can and it’s just who he is. I don’t need it for his friendship but I know he would be hurt if I didn’t accept it. This is what he gave me the last time I saw him a couple months ago. He lives in a different state than I do several hundred miles away.
We’re talking about stuff that’s 101 here honestly and you should have this figured out loooong before this point in your life if you’re worth spit imo.
My one buddy that loves giving things to people as he can and it’s just who he is. I don’t need it for his friendship but I know he would be hurt if I didn’t accept it. This is what he gave me the last time I saw him a couple months ago. He lives in a different state than I do several hundred miles away.
Slander
Team no stickys
This is also why my co workers know very little about my personal life and I have barely any social media, mostly to get out of shit like this. There is always a sick family member somewhere or family party to go to when shit like this comes up.
Sandy Johnson
Harry Member
It was my friend's birthday yesterday. He manages a bunch of developer-nerds all over the world and while we're drinking beer in my kitchen last night, checks his phone:
"Shit! Linkedin tells people when it's your birthday?!?!? God damn it!" He figured it out because his team's slack started blowing up.
Tiha
Red Skull Member
I get that completely.
At one time my best friends were people at work. One guy, we went hunting and fishing together all the time. His kids were my kids age. It just worked. But he retired and moved away.
Another turned into a corporate dick.
Last one I used to hunt and fish with became the company president. When we are alone it is awesome. In a company setting I can't stand to be around him. I think most days he hates himself but this is his job now.
I really can't stand anyone else here that is left.
NakedJeep
Active member
"In accepting a gift, you bring honor to the giver."
Work associates have given me nice things, and I was never in a position to repay them in anyway.
Also
A gift with strings is not a gift - that is a bribe. I don't do bribes.
Work associates have given me nice things, and I was never in a position to repay them in anyway.
Also
A gift with strings is not a gift - that is a bribe. I don't do bribes.
NakedJeep
Active member
What if...
Big reseller ships wrong laser printer to your office. You call your rep and he says keep it and ships another one at no more expense to the company.
Is that wrong laser printer now a gift?
asking for a friend
Big reseller ships wrong laser printer to your office. You call your rep and he says keep it and ships another one at no more expense to the company.
Is that wrong laser printer now a gift?
asking for a friend
Johnny Longrifle
Slow learner
I'm not gonna lie about it or make up an excuse, I'm just gonna be honest and tell them it's not my thing and I'm not going. Thanks for the offer, though.
rockdog57
Ghetto fab garage owner
Wife and I don’t give each other gifts. Well, most of the time. But I can’t understand not receiving a gift given in good faith.
I’ve fixed up cars and given them to people who I know that are down and out. I just sent a $4000 check to my little brother who is struggling financially. His wife is trying to beat cancer and they didn’t have the funds for the copay on their insurance. Their roof is leaking over the kitchen and the cancer has bled them to the point he couldn’t afford parts to fix the clothes dryer. Gifts aren’t always linked to strings. They can be from the heart.
I’ve fixed up cars and given them to people who I know that are down and out. I just sent a $4000 check to my little brother who is struggling financially. His wife is trying to beat cancer and they didn’t have the funds for the copay on their insurance. Their roof is leaking over the kitchen and the cancer has bled them to the point he couldn’t afford parts to fix the clothes dryer. Gifts aren’t always linked to strings. They can be from the heart.
Gbkeith
El Western Motel
I get some joy in giving gifts, but for the most part this is why I don’t like receiving gifts.
Gbkeith
El Western Motel
Surplus. Fell off a truck.
I'll always accept gifts from friends & family (provided no strings attached) out of respect or courtesy.
Business gifts, I'll 98% refuse if it's more than note pads or a coffee mug. Expensive bottle of wine or sportsball tickets? --> "I appreciate it, but I cannot accept that. Thank you."
Landslide
Red Skull Member
- Joined
- May 20, 2020
- Member Number
- 422
- Messages
- 1,668
My brother, whom I don’t associate with for 15 plus years, does this and always have. Needless to say, he has absolutely no friends and lives recluse.My issue is THERE ARE ALWAYS STRINGS ATTACHED.
When it comes to family or friend... in my mind, there is no gift, without some form of scorekeeping going on, and an expectation of... something.
And my wife... she sucks at giving gifts ... and in most things, from house work, to gifts, she is keeping score. Although, somehow it seems to be one way.
Also, I am very picky, and I want what I want, and most of the time it's outside of anyone else budget, and there's very little I don't buy for myself, once I decide I need it.
Look, there are times when you do a lot more giving or receiving than others depending on the circumstances. Obviously you need to know when you’re being used but like I said earlier- 101. It also goes with the personality of an individual on how they perceive things. Some people love to give and do a ton of volunteer work spending large amounts of time just helping people. They feel good about what they’re doing and I thank them for that as I know there are a lot of people out there that really need a helping hand.
*corrected read a history book
Landslide
Red Skull Member
- Joined
- May 20, 2020
- Member Number
- 422
- Messages
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I worked for a family owned business for 25 years and at the time, enjoyed doing things with the company. They did a big deal with employee appreciation day renting a hall with live band food and drinks once a year. There was other events also that they did. I became friends with most of the family that owned the business and I still am very close to them to this day and I left their company 12 years ago. But companies I e worked for since I don’t want anything to do with anything they pushed or the people who worked there. I did collect one good friend from one place I worked at years ago. Company I work for now I’m much more involved with but a lot of that is due to the position I’m in.Found the middle manager with no life outside of the company everyone hates
Yes, all the time. Me spending time with my co workers and boss on my day off is a punishment, not a reward, for doing a good job. Give me a bonus where I can afford to rent out a box and do whatever the hell I want in there instead. Can put a price on my labor which is my salary, my time away from the office is priceless and the less free time I have to devote to my employer the better. When I was a leader of people, any company event I scheduled happened m-f between 9 and 5 because I wasn't a selfish dick and know people value their time away from the office, so why would I cut into that?
grumpy356
bordering on illiterate
- Joined
- May 19, 2020
- Member Number
- 244
- Messages
- 1,165
They have been advertising the shit out of these, and i have been kinda curious about them.
They don't look like much. It looks like a paintball gun would be way more powerful.
What do you think about it?
Slander
Team no stickys
Neat, company events are gay regardless of company size
Yota Up
Dull man
- Joined
- May 20, 2020
- Member Number
- 648
- Messages
- 1,616
Gift cards.
My kids sometimes want to cheat out on a friend bday with them and I get mad and make them put thought into it. No shortcuts of just handing someone a gift card.
Current situation. My son's ex-girlfriend wants to buy his sister a present for her bday. I don't think that should be accepted.
why?
Swayzeexpress
Red Skull Member
- Joined
- May 30, 2020
- Member Number
- 1691
- Messages
- 551
Tips on how legos doesn't add significant clutter? My boy loves building a set, then I have to put it somewhere for a bit, then the cat or dog someone knocks part of it off, then it goes into a tub with the directions, then the next set starts, then... nevermind I loved them to as a kid but man they are annoying to keep around
They are cool, I bought 2 in 2020 when all the BLM crap was going on and gave one to my father in law to give to his wife. Logic is that if my wife or his can point it at someones face knowing (true or not) they aren't gonna kill the person, they will be more likely to use it or not be scared to use it. I think my wife would second guess if she was holding my pistol at the front door. That and all the legal mumbo jumbo so you don't get arrested defending yourself.
I like giving heartfelt gifts and don't mind receiving them, would never give someone something random they wouldn't like and people know me well enough not to do that to me. Gifts are a cool way to let people know they are important enough to you that you saw something and thought they'd appreciate it.
KarlVP
Not Sure
My mom taught me at a young age that once you gift something to someone it is theirs to do with what they please.
They could accept it and throw it in the trash, and that is their right because you gave it to them.
They could accept it and throw it in the trash, and that is their right because you gave it to them.
Sandy Johnson
Harry Member
We don't try to keep sets separate. Once my kids stop fixing it after they break it a few times, it goes in a tub with all the other legos as doner parts to whatever they want to build. We keep all the instructions together in filing cabinet. If they want to rebuild something, they have to get the directions and then hunt for all the parts they need. It doesn't happen too often. Most of our lego adventures are spent building new stuff out of all the doner parts:
Jeffh555
Red Skull Member
Exactly, build it as intended once, play with it as long as it holds attention (minutes or months) once they are over it, the parts go in lego bins with the rest of the parts.We don't try to keep sets separate. Once my kids stop fixing it after they break it a few times, it goes in a tub with all the other legos as doner parts to whatever they want to build. We keep all the instructions together in filing cabinet. If they want to rebuild something, they have to get the directions and then hunt for all the parts they need. It doesn't happen too often. Most of our lego adventures are spent building new stuff out of all the doner parts:
MIL bought him this lego table that's in his room but in reality there's a couple more bins of legos (stackable with lids) that are needed to hold and organize the parts. Work in progress projects can live on the table. It's not perfect, but annoys me far less than an other toy of his (bike/motorcycle excluded, of course).
Sandy Johnson
Harry Member
That part 100%. They're quiet when they're building and reasonably quiet when they're playing with them afterwards. ...Except for space ship battles in the hallway. They still don't believe me that there shouldn't be any sound in space.
