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I was takin' a trip out to LA

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Taking on a number and digging on the radio
Just as I crossed the Mississippi line
I heard that highway start to whine
 
Well the spare was flat and I got uptight
'Cause there wasn't a fillin' station in sight
So I jus' limped down the shoulder on the rim
 
Went as far as I could when I stopped the car
 
It was right in front of this little bar
A kind of a redneck lookin' joint called the Dew Drop Inn
 
******WARNING*****
~Active Coyote Area~

Orange County is issuing a warning to the public
and asking citizens to please report if you observe
any dangerous coyote activity in your area such as:

•Coyote carrying a box of dynamite labeled ACME
•Coyote dropping an anvil from hot air balloon
•Coyote posting signs such as DETOUR and FREE BIRD SEED
•Coyote in possession of giant magnet
•Coyote in possession of catapult
•Coyote launching itself with giant crossbow

****PLEASE REPORT IMMEDIATELY****
 
There wasn't a soul in the place 'cept for him and me...

He just looked disgusted and pointed toward the telephone.
 
Well I called up a station down the road aways and he said he was very busy today, and he could be down in about 10 minutes or so
Now you just stay right where your at, I didn't bother to tell the durn fool I sure as hell didn't have any place else to go
I just ordered up a beer and sat down at the bar


God I used to laugh when they played this song back in the 70s
 
When some dude came and said who owns this car with the peace sign mag wheels and four on the floor?
 
Well he looked at me and I damn near died dropped a dollar on the bar and headed for door
Just as thought I would get out of there with my skin these five big dudes came strolling in with one ol drunk chick and some dude with green teeth
I was almost to the door when the biggest one says you tip your hat to this lady son and when I did all that hair fell out from underneath,
now the last thing I wanted was to get in a fight in Jackson Mississippi on a Saturday night
Especially when there was three of them and only one of me
They all started laughing and I felt kinda sick
And I knew I better think of something pretty quick
 
He let out a yelp thatd curl your hair
but before he could move I grabbed a chair
and said watch him folks causes he is a thourowly dangerous man

Well you may not know it but this mans a spy
He's an undercover agent for the F - B - I
And he's been sent down here to infiltrate the KuKluxKlan

He was still bent over holdin on to his knee
But everyone else was looking and listening to me
And I layed it on thicker and heavier as I went

I said would you believe this man has gone as far
As tearin' Wallace stickers off the bumpers of cars
And he even voted for George McGoveren for president

Well he's a friend of them long-haired hippie type pinko fags
I betcha he's even got a Commie flag
Tacked up on the wall inside of his garage

:flipoff2:
 
"He's a snake in the grass, I tell you guys
He may look dumb but that's just a disguise
He's a mastermind in the ways of espionage"
 
They all started lookin' real suspicious at him
and he jumped up and said now wait a miunte Jim
you know hes lyin' Ive been livin' here all of my life.
 
I'm a faithful follower of brother John Burch and I belong to the antiock baptist church
And I ain't even got a garage you can call home and ask my wife!
 
Then he started sayin' somethin' 'bout the way I was dressed,
but I didn't wait around to hear the rest
I was too busy movin' and hopin' I didn't run outta luck
 
When I hit the ground I was makin' tracks, and they were just takin' my car down off the jacks
So I threw the man a twenty and jumped in and fired that mother up
 
Mario Andretti would be sure been proud
Of the way I was moving when I passed that crowd
Coming out the door and headed toward me at a trot
 
I guess I should'a gone ahead and run, but somehow I couldn't resist the fun of
chasin' them all just once around the parkin' lot
they headed for their car and I hit the gas, spun around, and headed 'em off at the pass
I was slingin' gravel and putting a ton of dust in the air
 
Well I had them all out there steppin' an' a fetchin'
Like their heads were on fire and their asses was catchin'
But I figured I oughta go ahead an split before the cops got there
 
When I hit the road I was really wheeling had gravel flying and rubber squealing
and I didn't stop till I was almost to Arkansaw
I wonder if anybody would think I flipped if I went to LA
via Omaha
 
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