Old Parents & Money

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    Old Parents & Money

    Does anyone else have older parents (60 years old +) that just spend money or do things that make absolutely no sense, financially, for their future?

    Example, I'll use my parents.

    My dad is 60 years old, my mom is 66. Last year their outside wood burner was done for. I tried to convince them to look into putting in an easier system, like propane, or even pellets. Nope...they had their outside wood burner rebuilt for a rather large sum of money, and now my dad still has to cut a ton of firewood every single year. Just recently my mom made a comment about not being able to load the logs into the outside wood burner, and I asked what she would do if he passed away. Nothing.

    My parents live 30 minutes away, and that wood burner needs loaded twice a day. It heats all their water, so it's a 24/7 thing.

    Tonight, my wife's parents were talking about spending a large amount of money on something that was not financially intelligent given circumstances.

    I'm sitting here thinking, what the fuck? My wife is always wanting to help her parents and my parents financially and it's just like, NO. Why? They're not making intelligent decisions. It's not our job to handout money to help pay for their mistakes or bad decisions. None of them are retired. They're all working full-time still with no retirement money set aside...

    Am I off base here? What would you guys do?

    #2
    Stop giving money for starters.

    My mom recently retired. Same shit is starting to happen there too (buying stupid shit). She's not quite to the "QVC" stage, but I'm sure we'll be having that talk before too long

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      #3
      Originally posted by Rerock View Post
      Stop giving money for starters.

      My mom recently retired. Same shit is starting to happen there too (buying stupid shit). She's not quite to the "QVC" stage, but I'm sure we'll be having that talk before too long
      We're not handing out money...yet, but my wife is always wanting to. I keep telling her I can't do it when our parents are frivolously spending money, stupidly.

      Comment


        #4
        My FIL has been this way for a while, it's gotten worse since he had a stroke a year and a half ago. His old Caravan needed a transmission but was otherwise a very well maintained and clean rig, so he bought a small crossover after barely looking at it or test driving it and decided he hated it about a month later. Not long after that he had a stroke and could no longer drive legally. That left his wife driving their old F250 to the dump, F250 broke down and the shop talked him out of fixing it for whatever reason. So, he did the logical thing and rolled all the negative equity on the little Toyota thing into a brand new F150 that he can't even drive instead of paying cash for a clean used truck. He's constantly donating money to political organizations instead of paying bills too, if anything at this point it seems like he's trying to spend all his money before he dies so there's nothing for his family inherit.

        My mom is constantly dumping money into shit because she panics whenever the news tells her to. I'm not allowed in their house currently due to the beer flu but my dad says they've got more TP than the grocery store, FedEx guy pulled in right before me the last time I was over there and he needed a fuckin' hand truck to deliver all the shit she'd bought, dad says it's been that way almost every day for months. They're pretty set financially but still, you can only pack so much shit into their house.

        I ain't got any money to give anyone so I don't have to worry about that.

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          #5
          Oh lord.

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            #6
            Originally posted by TrikeKid View Post
            My FIL has been this way for a while, it's gotten worse since he had a stroke a year and a half ago. His old Caravan needed a transmission but was otherwise a very well maintained and clean rig, so he bought a small crossover after barely looking at it or test driving it and decided he hated it about a month later. Not long after that he had a stroke and could no longer drive legally. That left his wife driving their old F250 to the dump, F250 broke down and the shop talked him out of fixing it for whatever reason. So, he did the logical thing and rolled all the negative equity on the little Toyota thing into a brand new F150 that he can't even drive instead of paying cash for a clean used truck. He's constantly donating money to political organizations instead of paying bills too, if anything at this point it seems like he's trying to spend all his money before he dies so there's nothing for his family inherit.

            My mom is constantly dumping money into shit because she panics whenever the news tells her to. I'm not allowed in their house currently due to the beer flu but my dad says they've got more TP than the grocery store, FedEx guy pulled in right before me the last time I was over there and he needed a fuckin' hand truck to deliver all the shit she'd bought, dad says it's been that way almost every day for months. They're pretty set financially but still, you can only pack so much shit into their house.

            I ain't got any money to give anyone so I don't have to worry about that.
            I told my wife tonight it must be a thing with older people. Maybe it's denial about getting older?

            My neighbors got their stuff together. Both in their 70's, both retired, very small ranch house that's paid for, two small Toyota cars that are paid for...they don't do anything that I think, "Wow, that's a bad idea." Ha-ha!

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              #7
              I am 67+ years old; live with my parents of 88+ years. I am widowed and had nothing better to do but move in and take care of things. This has be a fucking adventure to say the least; Mother is strong willed and sharp as a tack. Dad is slowing down fast, and starting to lose it. I don't think they will be around much longer; but this is the best time of MY life! I had the house signed over to me years ago have picked up all expenses and considerable upgrades to the property. So now my parents can spend any and all there money on whatever they want. Mother is at the casino two or three times a week and blows through some serious cash. Dad doesn't get around much so he is happy carving or reading a book. Told mother we are getting a housekeeper in January, your done making beds and cleaning! (I do that shit now; but would rather have someone else do it!). I do all the cooking, but enjoy it so it isn't a chore.

              My problem is; I need a fucking break now and again!

              OP See if you can slip in and start taking over some of the routine stupid shit your parents are worried about. I am getting this house setup the way it should be; mother would have still been fucing around trying to "fix it" type bull shit.

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by TrikeKid View Post
                it seems like he's trying to spend all his money before he dies so there's nothing for his family inherit.

                .
                Should the family deserve to inherit anything? Maybe I'm off base, but I want my parents to spend all their money enjoying this life and not leave us kids shit. I think it's our responsibility to take care of ourselves. So long as they are taken care of financially for the rest of both their lives, and they should be based on their finances, I don't expect or want anything from them financially.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by billdacat View Post
                  I am 67+ years old; live with my parents of 88+ years. I am widowed and had nothing better to do but move in and take care of things. This has be a fucking adventure to say the least; Mother is strong willed and sharp as a tack. Dad is slowing down fast, and starting to lose it. I don't think they will be around much longer; but this is the best time of MY life! I had the house signed over to me years ago have picked up all expenses and considerable upgrades to the property. So now my parents can spend any and all there money on whatever they want. Mother is at the casino two or three times a week and blows through some serious cash. Dad doesn't get around much so he is happy carving or reading a book. Told mother we are getting a housekeeper in January, your done making beds and cleaning! (I do that shit now; but would rather have someone else do it!). I do all the cooking, but enjoy it so it isn't a chore.

                  My problem is; I need a fucking break now and again!

                  OP See if you can slip in and start taking over some of the routine stupid shit your parents are worried about. I am getting this house setup the way it should be; mother would have still been fucing around trying to "fix it" type bull shit.
                  My parent's house is going downhill fast, and they don't have the money to fix everything. I offered to take on the rest of the mortgage, put the house in my name, and pay for all the repairs to be done properly. The problem is they think I'm wanting them to die so I can have all their junk. My sister wants nothing to do with the house, or their problems. I'm not buying my sister out of their house if I'm going to be the one to fix it up.

                  It's all a hopeless uphill battle, and it's like fuck it, ya'll can deal with this shit when you can't work. Then maybe you'll want to make some decisions.

                  Hell, we even offered to buy my in laws a house (they rent now), and they said no. I have no idea what either of our parents have planned for retirement, when they can't work anymore...I guess they're all just planning on dying before that point?

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                    #10
                    Greedy kid worried all the parents money will be gone, shame on you.....

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Originally posted by Wheelerfreak View Post

                      Should the family deserve to inherit anything? Maybe I'm off base, but I want my parents to spend all their money enjoying this life and not leave us kids shit. I think it's our responsibility to take care of ourselves. So long as they are taken care of financially for the rest of both their lives, and they should be based on their finances, I don't expect or want anything from them financially.
                      I agree.

                      Other than my dad's guns and his old tools, that's all I have coming to me. I only want them so my sister doesn't sell them!

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Originally posted by Mvanhelden View Post
                        Greedy kid worried all the parents money will be gone, shame on you.....
                        Who? My parents and my wife's parents are broke...we don't have anything coming to us except debts that will need paid.

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                          #13
                          Originally posted by Wheelerfreak View Post

                          Should the family deserve to inherit anything? Maybe I'm off base, but I want my parents to spend all their money enjoying this life and not leave us kids shit. I think it's our responsibility to take care of ourselves. So long as they are taken care of financially for the rest of both their lives, and they should be based on their finances, I don't expect or want anything from them financially.
                          yup, provided they don't cause damage to themselves. worse case scenario, they have to give up all their assets, go totally broke and move in to a shanty addition with the kids or be stuck in a state home.

                          what are they saving up for? maybe they will see 90, maybe they won't see 70, let it ride.


                          Up is difficult, down is dangerous

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                            #14
                            Originally posted by Wheelerfreak View Post

                            Should the family deserve to inherit anything? Maybe I'm off base, but I want my parents to spend all their money enjoying this life and not leave us kids shit. I think it's our responsibility to take care of ourselves. So long as they are taken care of financially for the rest of both their lives, and they should be based on their finances, I don't expect or want anything from them financially.
                            It's putting his wife getting to retire on time in jeopardy, and if anyone deserves something for taking care of his miserable ass, it's her. I stand to inherit absolutely nothing from him, so I ain't worried about it just seems like that's where it's coming from for him, spend and sell everything but the house as a final fuck you. He was left to his own devices for a week or two a while back and blew something like 10 grand buying shit online and making campaign donations.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Originally posted by Wheelerfreak View Post

                              Should the family deserve to inherit anything? Maybe I'm off base, but I want my parents to spend all their money enjoying this life and not leave us kids shit. I think it's our responsibility to take care of ourselves. So long as they are taken care of financially for the rest of both their lives, and they should be based on their finances, I don't expect or want anything from them financially.
                              I agree. My dad passed at 67. Worked until about two weeks before he died. Changed my perspective on life. I hope my mom lives her life doing whatever she wants up until the end. As long as she lives the rest of her life happy, it shouldn’t matter if my siblings or I inherit anything.

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